Best Contest_funniest_quote Quotes Today

happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:27pm UTC

At my school there’s a rule that only one student can be out of class at a time with a hall pass, but today in math a bunch of people forgot their graphing calculators so my math teacher yelled, “EVERYBODY, GO. RUN. THEY CAN’T CATCHH ALL OF YOU.”

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 2:23pm UTC

If you don’t get a little gay with your best friends you’re not close enough

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 25, 2013 1:35pm UTC

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something
so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:17pm UTC

u never truly appreciate how nice it is to be able to breathe through your nose until u get a cold

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 10, 2013 2:17pm UTC

if i was famous i’d answer every inappropriate tweet i got

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 17, 2013 2:25pm UTC

i may be ugly and annoying but at least i don’t have a selfie of me as my phones background

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 19, 2013 1:05pm UTC

u (◠‿◠✿)
did not (◠‿◠✿)
teach us this (◠‿◠✿)
why is it (◠‿◠✿)
on the test (◠‿◠✿)
BTCH (⊙‿⊙✿)

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:16pm UTC

can boys like stop having skinner legs than me

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 16, 2013 2:26pm UTC

u don’t realize how loud ur mouse clicking is until it’s the middle of the night and ur trying to hide from ur parents

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 12, 2013 2:19pm UTC

how do mermaids have babies
why didn’t tarzan have a beard
why didn’t aladdin have nipples

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 14, 2013 3:05pm UTC

one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 11, 2013 2:31pm UTC

isn’t it weird that you can have friends but also have no friends at the same time

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 9, 2013 2:18pm UTC

Expectations:
Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
Adults - What are you doing today? Want to hang out?
Reality:
Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out?
Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 15, 2013 2:10pm UTC

what do you mean no pets allowed this is my sister

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 2:18pm UTC

my mom legitimately just called me to say “i’m worried about you you’re too sarcastic for normal friends and you’re too nice to be in a street gang”

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 2:12pm UTC

my english teacher in 9th grade used to put prompts up for daily 5 minute writing warmups and one day the prompt was just the word “hippo” and i wrote a page long story in 5 minutes about an underground russian mafia that distributed hippo feces because they discovered that it had euphoric properties similar to marijuana it was like the new opium and rich people paid big money for it but it was illegal in every country and my teacher made me read it out loud to the class

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 6, 2013 2:33pm UTC

*aggressively collects money in a video game*
*never buys anything with it*

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 20, 2013 1:19pm UTC

i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 23, 2013 3:15pm UTC

me after every conversation: why the fck did i say that

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happiest*
posted a quote
October 7, 2013 3:01pm UTC

Me: Why is this book over
Me: Why couldn't it be longer
Me: What am I supposed to read now
*glances at pile of unread books*
Me: Don't look at me like that

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 166 points

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Best Contest_funniest_quote Quotes Today