Blondes Quotes

TheCovertComic
posted a quote
August 16, 2019 10:45pm UTC

My word is my blonde.

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mhamilton
posted a quote
February 23, 2015 11:49am UTC

A blonde a brunette and a red head
are about to jump off a building
They all jump off at the same time
which one landed last?
The blonde because she had to ask for directions

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Heartless17*
posted a quote
November 23, 2014 10:20pm UTC

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?" "What's a license?" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump. "It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop. "Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde. "It's usually in your glove compartment," said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration. "I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer called in to the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?" "Yes." replied the officer "Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher. "Uh... yes." replied the cop. "Here's what you do," said the dispatcher. "give her the stuff back, and drop your pants." "What? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop. "Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"

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Roxanne*
posted a quote
March 2, 2014 10:25am UTC

If you blonde just think about brunette's, or red heads, and vice-of-versa.
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

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Vinita*
posted a quote
November 11, 2013 1:57pm UTC

*on the ride home from youth group*
Lindsey's mom:So are you really only 12?
Me:Yup
Lindsey:She used to be 11

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DeathOfASon
posted a quote
August 12, 2013 10:30am UTC

Finally.. The blonde joke to end all blonde jokes.
A blonde women was speeding down the road in her little red sports car, and was pulled over by a women police officer who was also blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?" She finally asked. The police women replied, "It's square and has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a small mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewomen. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

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thatwaswellfunny
posted a quote
August 1, 2013 6:30am UTC

If you are blonde,never and I mean NEVER wear eyeshadow without mascara.Otherwise you look like a panda which has just got up from hibernation.

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Vanessa15*
posted a quote
July 7, 2013 4:15am UTC

There was a blonde a brunette and a redhead. They were in the church and noticed a pool of water. They asked the priest what the water was for and the priest said ''go do something bad and come back''
So they did and came back the next day and they asked the priest why they had to do that. The priest answered ''When you do something bad,... You come to the holy water and drink it to be forgiven and clean'
the redhead said ''well I Ran over a cat'' and then drank the holy water. The brunette said ''i robbed a bank'' and then drank the holy water. The blonde stared at them and The priest asked ''what Bad deed did you do?'' and The blonde said ''i Peed in the holy water''

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TurtleTot456
posted a quote
June 18, 2013 8:26pm UTC

A blonde was sitting at a stop sign. A police man taps on her window.
"Everything okay?"
Blonde: "I think it's broke. It's been 10 minutes and it's still red."

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tacosliketoparty
posted a quote
May 27, 2013 7:48am UTC

I laugh at the way blondes always retaliate with
‘But blondes are more fun’
And I’m like. You know what would be fun?
Ripping that head of you’res off your shoulders.

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ImNotNormal
posted a quote
January 25, 2013 8:41pm UTC

This is what I do when something's not funny:
Person:why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: cause he had crap in his pants and there was a bathroom on the other side?
Person: to get to the other side! :D
Me: :D
Person: :D
Me: :D 1 second later: -_- mine was better

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CupcakeeLuvah
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 10:55pm UTC

Oh please , Jenna can't hear us, she's blind.
- Hanna Marin
Pretty Little Liars

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