confessions (because my bailey button
did it)
i. I'm really pale, so I
tend to wear darker clothing, as I feel it makes me look both
tanner and more mature. Most people think I'm goth because of
it, which is entirely untrue.
ii. I have a hard time trusting people and
making friends, since most people at my school are hypocritical
and judgmental, never really knowing me before writing me off.
I've also felt violated in a more personal and sexual manner,
causing me to create barriers. I'm unable to go on dates with
people who my friends don't like, I have to talk to the
person for at least a month and make sure they understand my
boundaries and won't push them. I've never told anyone
why, because I know the guy will refute my claims and tell me
I'm exaggerating.
iii. I'm self-conscious about my looks but
not my body. I consistently wish I had a different nose or mouth
to match my body, and am considering plastic surgery when I get
older. I would never consider myself confident, as I tend to be
more insecure, but if I had a different face to match my body,
which I am extremely proud of.
iv. I'm an emotional person, which has been
both a blessing and a curse. My emotional side has allowed me to
be more emphatetic and connect with others, however I cry at
least once a day and am picked on by my family and friends
because of it.
v. I dream of moving to a big city, like Chicago
or San Francisco, where I can start over. Living in a small town,
everyone knows everyone and it haunts me, the reality being that
everyone will stay in my town forever and never branch out. I
don't want that to be me -- it's my biggest fear.
vi. I'm insanely attracted to men that are
darker. The concept of white men scare me, after my violation by
a white man, my abuse from a white man, and bullying from a white
man. My closest friends are of darker skin colors. They are the
kindest and most inclusive, as they understand what it's like
to be left on the outside. I have a special love for Cuban boys,
specifically. Give me a Cuban boy and within five minutes I will
fall in love -- it's a scientific
fact.
seafoam* · 8 years ago
0
reply
Happy to know I inspired Princess Ally. (Also, I would think that wearing dark clothes when you're pale would only emphasize the fair tone of your skin, as it creates a sharp contrast??? But whatever works for you, chickadee.)