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To My Friends,

I’m sorry,
I’m weak,
I’m helpless.
I don’t know what to do.

I need help,
But I can’t speak out.
When I try to use my voice,
My vocal cords won’t let me make a sound.

It’s not like drowning,
It’s slowly dying.
My mind wants me to stop,
To stop trying.

Waking up every morning,
It’s a fight to get out of bed.
No you can’t relate,
It’s not what you think.

It’s not because I’m lazy,
It’s because I don’t want to live.
Live with all the pain,
Live with all the regret.

I don’t want to be alive,
But I’ll never tell.
To tell is to make someone worry,
And they already have enough stress.

So I’ll sit still for a while.
Not move for a day,
Not leave the house for a week.
Not care about the world outside.

Because anywhere I go,
I feel nothing.

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