TaintedCherry · 1 decade ago
Gosh, are you ok?
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Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl · 1 decade ago
Honestly, no not really. I had one last night and today's was worse. I was okay and I was getting better, recovering from cutting but last night something that happened triggered it and I couldn't forget about it and then I just started shaking and feeling dizzy and nauseated etc. it lasted 5-10 minutes and then after I was calmed down again, I looked up the symptoms because I was 99% sure that's what it was and I had nearly all of them. I had all but a couple in the one today though.
It's really scary and I just hate it :/
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TaintedCherry · 1 decade ago
You poor thing, I've fainted but I've never had a panic attack.. do youu... wanna talk about what triggered it? You don't have to it's just that a problem shared is a problem halved an all :)
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Confessions_of_a_Witty_Girl · 1 decade ago
Yea sure, it's no secret anyway.
I kind of feel bad about what triggered it. That might sound silly, but it's because it was really my boyfriend. I don't want to think of it that, but like.. it's not really his fault, it's just that what he said made me think of something that brought it on.. Well anyway, I'll tell you the story... <br/>We're in a Long Distance Relationship & we've never met. Last night we were on the phone and he was looking for a cover of his favourite song & he was just commenting pretty harshly on them. He then said "sorry for being so judgemental" and I started to think about him judging me on our first meeting. It's really stupid because we've been together 5 months, we've been talking for almost 2 years, almost all of those 2 years spent being best friends... we've been through so much together but I've been in a really bad state the last couple of months.. I started cutting and everything's just been a mess really (if you read a couple of my quotes or my info, you'll get the drift). Being judged is my biggest fear, it's stopped me from doing so much and it's not like this was an unusual occasion, but something was different about this time and everything just started going slow motion and I started shaking and was really short-of-breath and felt dizzy and then I told him about the last two weeks (I haven't used the blade in that time) and I was telling him how difficult the last couple of weeks has been and then told him I had a panic attack (I didn't tell him why or that it was last night when we were on the phone) but I told him... When it happened we were still on the phone but it was like 2am and both us us were tired and the convo was dying down. While I was in the late stages of it I told him I had to go and then I calmed myself down.
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TaintedCherry · 1 decade ago
So being Judged? Yeah it's a pretty scary thing but maybe the people who do that don't have judgement worth caring about ok? You're beautiful inside and out ok? I'm sure of it, I bet my lucky socks (even though I dont have any) that you are kind, smart, imaginative, caring, fun, just a bit naive, misunderstood... a wallflower? Anyway I let you in on a little secret I cut, and it's reslly hard to stop but if you try and look at the bright side of everything it helps I promise. It's been 3 weeks since my last cut and I'm struggling and I'm lying if I say that there were some days when I was close to cracking but it's just SOOO good to gwt through it <3 lemme know if you have any problems, always here.
Sincerely - Tainted Cherry
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