My Story Is
something I've never even told
my Bestfriend
Its something I've honestly never told Anyone.....Until Now
If you
where to look at me now, you see a kid who always seems to have a
smile on his face, thats from years of practice though. You'd
see a kid who wears nice stuff, name brand
clothes(pacsun,hollister,AE,etc.), thats from years upon years of
only wearing hand me downs from all my cousins(all females). You
notice a very loud, sometimes overly obnoctious kid, who you
never would've expected to have taken any kind of abuse
ever.....that's where you'd be so far from correct, wrong
isn't even the right term to use...
I used
to be the kid that my ENTIRE STREET would horass for the
way i dressed, the way i acted, who I hung out with, all that
stuff. I was the kid that was used so some kids
could..."experement" things. That one thing alone still
haunts me because of how many times I realize now it happend. As
little as I was at the time I had no clue...and it took me till
now to exercise that. I was the type of kid who seemed like
had a silver spoon to eat with, got everything he wanted, at
anytime; truth is i was the kid who used to think about suicide
at only 7, just because i was, i guess dissaplined by my dad(got
my a## whooped alot). I was that kid who all through grade
school, and most of middle, who was picked on, joked about only
because of the music i listend too, and the clothes I wore
because they weren't NAME BRAND STUFF.
Now being 17, 99% of my problems from when I was a kid being
non-existant any more, still suffer from having issues with
dealing with that one deamon already mentiond. Now some
might think that because of what I mentioned this might be my
"comming out" but it isn't because I'm not(not
that there's anything wrong with that life style) I just am
not. But Being the person most people see me as, is still me
living a LIE. There hasn't been really one person I've
not lied to at least once. I've Lied to most of everyone that
I know about still being a vergin; lied about ever doin drugs, so
that i wouldn't be that outcasted kid I was when I was
little; I even figured out a way to lie to my self, saying that I
wasnt obcessed with this girl I've had feelings for for now
2.5 years. There's many others on top of those but because i
dont think they would fit...this will be all continued later
on
