How Stupid People Are...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my
hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains
nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh... Fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or hair."
(Oh my ... Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On Starbucks paper/cardboard cups thingies: "Warning: The
beverage you are about to drink may be hot."
(Um... duh?!)
1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked
for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen
nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You
don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half
dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by
the cash register and placed it between our things so they
wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my
items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over
for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code
she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said
to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll
buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for
the things and left. She had no clue to what had just
happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what
she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy."
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I
knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm,
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she
answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a
long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire
need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra
in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He
told me that the driver had set the "cruise control"
and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they
have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from
a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do
you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor,
PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his
head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and
police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect
wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie
detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried
asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the
emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her
to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother
says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him
in to emergency
Lazy with colors; (:
99 faves · 6 comments · Dec 3, 2010 3:13pm
immaninja
·
1 decade ago
OMG HAHAHA #8 is the best oneeee [:
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jjayx5
·
1 decade ago
HAHA :D Lovvee it!
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Matericxox
·
1 decade ago
lmfao. this made my night nbd. :)
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ejw10
·
1 decade ago
hahaha thaaanks<3
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neenimz11
·
1 decade ago
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! OMG i LOVE this ! XD ahahaha
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xshannonx98 · 1 decade ago
I don't get number seven... I feel dumb...
0 reply