TELETUBBIES
Baby gorillas,   whom, because   of    their small   and   morbidly obese build,
became    perfect    subjects    for    a    top    secret experiment    dubbed, "teletubbies".

Kidnapped from their   native habitat, they    were strapped   down hooting and
screaming    onto    operation    tables. Their    stomachs were   removed and replaced
with   a crude    malfunctioning    television    set,    which received   its signals   from   a
implanted antenna on the top   of   its   head. Because   the   antenna's receiver must
be outside of the body, a   hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making
a pathway to   stick    the    electrical    equipment through. Unfortunately, this only
resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.

To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet   consisting   of purified ethanol (tubby toast),
and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed.
A fake sun watches over them with an ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies
close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling
upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the
escapee by devouring it with its mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's
remains    as fertilizer for the    vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.

Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to receive radio waves with
their broken antennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by
the simplest    tasks we    can    do, such    as    showering    or    cooking an   egg.
- urbandictionary.com

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