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xoxoEMxoxo

winnie_the_pooh_x
posted a quote
February 20, 2009 3:51pm UTC

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what_if_i_still_love_him
posted a quote
February 19, 2009 3:51am UTC

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ninsterrr
posted a quote
February 21, 2009 5:39pm UTC

i hated going to weddings.
all the grandmas would poke me
and say " you're n e x t " they stopped
when i started doing it to them at
f u n e r a l s .
not minee ! no credit whatsoevuuuur .!?

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funkyfunkyfresh
posted a quote
February 20, 2009 4:52am UTC

Things u HAVE to do in a supa-market!!!
1.Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layby.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, leap out and say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
hope you like it <3

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softball42796
posted a quote
February 19, 2009 10:56am UTC

Some Stupid Celeb Quotes
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Sheilds
"The internet is a great way to get on the net."
-Bob Dole (Republican Presidantial Canidate)
"You guys, line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears
"I think war is a dangerous place."
- George W. Bush
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman, Golfer
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-Mariah Carey
"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman"
-Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Philedelphia Phillies Manager
"I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."
- Terry Bradshaw, Former football player/announcer
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa"
— Britney Spears
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."
- Fran Lebowitz, US writer
"If only faces could talk..."
- Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl
If it wren't for electricity, we'd all be watching TV by candlelight."
-George Gobel
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
- Charles De Gaulle, former French President
No need to faveorite, I just thought they were hysterical!

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ChEeRWhOrE
posted a quote
December 2, 2008 11:57pm UTC

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Cookie_ninja_xo
posted a quote
December 22, 2008 5:02pm UTC

A few ways to make an aim conversation more interesting/funnier:
1. Start saying "omg omg omg omg omg" and wait for them to freak out and say "whats the matter?!" And then just say; hi.
2. Ask the person your talking to to write you a story.
3. Say; "I know what your doing." They'll say " how?" You reply: "I can see you through the window."
4. Tell them it spells like up dog in your room and theyll say "Whats up dog?" And you reply: "Nothing much.. just chillin.. you?
5. Tell them your brother/sister just fell down the stairs.
6. Say " I g2g my favorite show is on" They'll say "what show?" "Dora the explorer.. durr!"
7. Send a sad face and they'll ask why you are sad, you reply: "cuz i just looked at a picture of your face! :("
8. Send random drawings. For example:
() ()
(oo)
(uu)O and say "Look! It's a bunny!"
9. Keep changing your font color.
10. Send red, then orange, then yellow, then green, then blue, then purple, then pink, and tell them its a rainbow.
11. Tell them you are moving to Anarctica so they can have your ipod.
12. Send kissy faces even if it is a girl and say "I loveeee yoouuu (: <333"
13. Write random stuff (fajfsaighaigksnaoahg for example) and then tell them your cat jumped on the keyboard.
14. Tell them you g2g because its time for dinner at 3:00.
15. Get quotes off witty and keep sending them randomly.
16. On your away message/status write random stuff about the person you are talking to.
17. Erase your profile and on it write your friends name at the top instead of yours; [_____'s buddy info] and then write a bunch of weird stuff under it.
18. Start bursting out in song.
19. Say you have to go because it is time for your anger management class and then when they say okay bye or lol flip out at them.
20. Tell them you just made a new screename its: I hAtE _____ [<-- their name]
21. Ignore them for awhile.
22. Write in one of the symbol fonts.
**ALL MINE**
Oh my goodness this took me so long!
Hope you like!
Thought these would be pretty funny to do!
[I did some of them]
Rate for mee ;)

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asmithxxox
posted a quote
February 20, 2009 4:56pm UTC

¸,¡|IvI|¡,¸
¹i|¡,¡||i¹
*I Dare You To Kiss Me*
[[ <3 ]]

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xoxoCALLIExoxo
posted a quote
January 22, 2009 6:37pm UTC

Funny Things to Do In a Public Bathroom
Narrate what you are doing as if you are writing a novel.
Go into a stall and start laughing hysterically. When you walk out, act like nothing happened.
Lock all the stalls from the inside (climb over the tops). Scream “OCCUPIED!” if anyone tries to get in.
Wait at a stall. Tell everyone that your imaginary friend is in there.
Sing opera as loudly and as badly as possible when you are waiting for a stall.
Stand at the paper towels and tell everyone that you are the “Master of the Towels.” Make people dance to get a towel.
Act amazed when the water turns on.
Carry on a conversation with yourself in a stall.
Hum loudly the first 6 notes of Happy Birthday over and over again as you wash your hands.
Dance everywhere and make up songs about what you are doing at the moment. For example “I am washing my hands, yeah! I put the soap on my hands, yeah! I rinsed the soap off my hands, yeah! Woo hoo! I am washing my hands, yeah!

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ohdangitsmini
posted a quote
February 15, 2009 6:59pm UTC

Don't you remember?
~when periods only came at the end of a sentence
~kissing was "ewwwie"
~when we had ketchup and it made that farting sound & we laughed our head off and it made our day
~it was illegal to say "shut up" and if you did you would get a time out
~you were bad if you ran with scissers
~ if we sang "who let the dogs out" we felt the coolest
~ when bra's were so cool
~we slept with our rugrats pjs and a stuff animal of blues clues
~when we went on the computer we went on "paint" and thought it was the coolest 8
~we had those hot, pink FAKE barbie flip phones(:[[that i so dont have anymore pshh.:]]
~Brittany Spears was our "role model"
~we all wanted to be a super hero
~when light up shoes were so cool!
~we took our cd players to school to show them off
~going on a date was like snack time at school sharing a cookie
~the word "hot" ment something was buring on FIRE
~ when everyone in your entire grade was your best friend foreverY
Do you remember? well i do!(:
pppppppppp
now!
~periods come once a month
~kissing is the best thing now
~ if someone farts know one laughs
~it's impossible to say F* and not get suspended for it
~your bad if you smoke
~if we sang A** like that we WERE the coolest.
~ now bras are annoying!
~ we sleep with are hollister tank topss& sweat pants.
~ now we go on Witty Profiles, and we feel cool:]
~now we eather have the sidekick, chocolate i-phone or voyager[[that i soo have!!]]
~ we want to be somethingg more mature than a super hero now
~ now light up bras are cool!
~ we take are i-pod touch to school to show off
~ going on a date now is you and your bf alone at the movie theaters
~ now we use the worddd "sexii"
~ now your lucky to have 3 T-R-U-E bestfriendsY out of your whole grade.
do you see the difference?
had this on my otherr account! u can check pegpegin..:] rate high plz! i havent had a quote rated over 100 yet!

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eswingle711
posted a quote
January 26, 2009 9:46pm UTC

On a man's 33rd birthday he gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it.
At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today."
"Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?", asks the Post Office worker.
"33.", says the man.
"Well, have a good day.", says the worker.
"Thank you.", replied the man.
To get home, the man has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon after he arrives.
The man says to the old lady,
"It's my birthday today."
"Oh, happy birthday.", says the old lady.
"I'm..."
"No don't tell me.", interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is."
"Oh yeah? What's that then?", asks the man.
If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how many years old you are.", says the old lady.
"I don't believe it.", says the man.
"Well let me prove it!", the old lady replies.
"I'm not going to let you feel my balls!", says the man.
"Oh well, I guess you'll never know then.", replies the lady.
After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of the man and he says, "Oh, okay then, you can do it."
After a good feel of the man's balls the woman finally takes her hands out of his pants. "You are 33 years old exactly.", she exclaims!
"How in the world did you know that?!", exclaims the man, impressed.
"I was behind you in the line at the Post Office.", said the lady.
Comment me plz
found it funny yet disturding
Emmy♥

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applejacks10000
posted a quote
December 25, 2008 9:10am UTC

Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!" The Teacher fainted.
Got this is an email.
I thought it was funny. xD

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SexiLexi95
posted a quote
December 21, 2008 8:31pm UTC

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dramaqueen61896
posted a quote
December 13, 2008 5:04pm UTC

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atxQTxoxo
posted a quote
December 14, 2008 4:37am UTC

long, but u wont regret =)
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups, and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.
As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt tug on his overalls.
He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've
got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed
something else stirring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.
Down the ramp it slid. Then in a awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."
With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy.
"No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

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qhettObarbiie420
posted a quote
December 16, 2008 11:28am UTC

Derick:
I guess we are the left-overs in this world.
Lily:
I think so...all of my friends have boyfriends, and we are the only the 2 people left in this world without any special person in our lives.
Derick:
Yup, I don't know what to do.
Lily:
I know! We'll play a game.
Derick:
What game?
Lily:
I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days
and you will be my boyfriend.
Derick:
That's a great plan, in fact, I don't have anything to do
much for the following few weeks.
DAY 1:
They watch their first movie
and they both are touched by the romantic film.
DAY 4:
They went go to the beach and have a picnic. Derick and Lily have their quality time together.
DAY 12:
Derick invited Lily to a circus and they ride through a Horror House.
Lily was scared and she thought she touched Derick's hand but she actually touched someone else's hand they both laughed.
DAY 15:
They saw a fortune teller down the road, and they asked for their future advice.
The fortune teller said:
"My darlings, please don't waste the time of your life, spend the rest of your time together, happily." Then tears flowed out from the teller's eyes.
DAY 20:
Lily invited Derick to go to the hill
and they saw a meteor; Lily mumbled something.
DAY 28:
They sat on the bus, and because of a bumpy road Lily gave her first kiss to Derick by accident.
DAY 29:
11:37 pm:
Lily and Derick sat in the park where they first decided to play this game.
Derick:
I'm tired Lily...Do you want anything to drink? I'll buy you one...I'll just go down the road.
Lily:
An Apple Juice, that's all. Thank you.
Derick:
Wait for me.
20 minutes later
A stranger approached Lily
Stranger:
Are you a friend of Derick?
Lily:
Yes, why? What happened?
Stranger:
A reckless drunk driver ran over Derick, and he is in critical condition in the hospital.
11:57 pm:
The doctor walked out of the emergency room; he handed Lily an apple juice and a letter.
Doctor:
We found this in Derick's pocket.
Lily reads the letter and it says:
Lily, These past few weeks, I realized you are a really cute girl, and I am really falling for you-your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game. Before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life.
I love you, Lily.
Lily crumpled up the paper and shouted:
"Derick! I don't want you to die-
I love you; remember that night when we saw a meteor and I mumbled something. I mumbled that I wish we would be together forever and that we would never have to end this game. Please don't leave me Derick .. I love you! You can't do this to me!"
Then the clock strikes 12...
Derick's heart stopped pumping...
It was the 30th day. )':

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xoxoninjaxoxo4
posted a quote
November 27, 2008 1:26pm UTC

There was a 5 year old girl names Katy. Katy always wore skirts. It was the first day of Kindergarden. Katy met a boy named Timmy. Timmy asked Katy to climb the jungle gym, so she did as he asked. When Katy got home, she told her mom ALL about her day including the jungle gym! Her mom said, "Don't you ever climb the jungle gym! He may just be trying to look at your underwear!" Katy didn't get why this was such a big deal! The next day, Timmy asked Katy to climb the jungle gym, so she did! She got home, and told her mom about her day. Her mom was very angry and said, "What did I tell you Missy? He may just be trying to look at your underwear!" Katy said, "I tricked him Mommy, I didn't wear any underwear today!"
-I cracked up when I heard this! Rate high if you laughed!

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xoxoEMxoxo
posted a quote
December 9, 2008 7:17pm UTC

. F u n n y . t h i n g s . t o . d o . i n . a n . e l e v a t o r .
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Rate high if this made you laugh!! :D (not mine)

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xXxRandomxXx
posted a quote
October 30, 2008 11:46am UTC

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:"When I was born I was black,""When I grew up I was black,""When I'm sick I'm black,""When I go in the sun I'm black,""When I'm cold I'm black,""When I die I'll be black.""But you sir...""When you're born you're pink,""When you grow up you're white,""When you're sick, you're green,""When you go in the sun you turn red,""When you're cold you turn blue,""And when you die you turn purple.""And you have the nerve to call me colored"The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...STOP RACISIM!!Rate high if you agree^

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xoxoEMxoxo
posted a quote
November 28, 2008 10:26pm UTC

DONT YOU HATE IT WHEN...
You really have to pee but your teacher won't let you out of class because what they are teaching you is "important"??
Rate high if this has happened to you!!! (Credit please)

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