Witty Profiles

tsuna27lover

1. kitten7121
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 7:26pm UTC
   Mom: What do you have to say for yourself?
   Me: Well, I-
   Mom: DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME YOUNG LADY!
   Me:
   Mom: I am so sick of your attitude, you don't even answer me when I speak to you!
   Me: But you said-
   Mom: I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK BACK! YOU ARE GROUNDED!
   ^Aaah, the logic of Moms.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 263 points
2. xxokiraxxo
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 6:37pm UTC
   Doctor: Are you sexually active?
   Me: Laughs hysterically, makes pterodactyl noise, transforms into a potato and rolls out the door away into the sunset
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 378 points
3. Marisaiscool
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 5:40pm UTC
   *Guy checks girl out*
   Normal girl: "OMG! That guy totally just checked me out! I'm going to go talk to him, maybe i'll get his number."
   Me: "Alright who paid you? Huh? Did my mom put you up to this? I am so going to slap that woman. She needs to stay out of my love life. I'm sorry this happened."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 222 points
4. xodiana15
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 1:00pm UTC
   When I was little,
   I thought the sun and the moon followed me everywhere.
   Just me?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 346 points
5. skinnyminikitty
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 11:48am UTC
   Dont you dare text me in that tone
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 356 points
6. carson5482
   posted a quote
   July 26, 2012 12:16pm UTC
   Cat: Meow.
   Me: Meow?
   Cat: Meow, meow.
   Me: Holy God. I speak cat.
   ...
   My brother: You're an idiot.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 538 points
7. littleleftofthemiddle
   posted a quote
   July 25, 2012 9:23pm UTC
   In the first layer of hell
   you have to show your parents your witty
   In the second layer,
   your fave's
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 594 points
8. angry_muffins
   posted a quote
   June 20, 2012 4:11pm UTC
   She's my best friend.
   You hurt her feelings,
   I hurt your face.
   ©FunkyMonkeyFormats
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 32 points
9. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
   This quote does not exist.
   
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10. Jazzygurl28
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2012 9:11pm UTC
    Me: Come here, I love you!
    Cat: ....*Turns and walks other way*
    REJECTED
    © format by: h0peful
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 186 points
11. cheetah678
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2012 11:20am UTC
    :On the Ellen Degeneris show:
    Edward: Are you on team Edward or team Jacob?
    Ellen: Im on neither team Edward or team Jacob
    Edward: ......
    Ellen: Im on a totally different team
    lmao do you get it?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1178 points
12. ridethewalrus
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2012 9:02pm UTC
    randomly remembering
    good times
    and smiling like an idiot. ♥
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 656 points
13. Nigel9086
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2012 7:45pm UTC
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    I'm fine.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 648 points
14. almostforever
    posted a quote
    June 9, 2012 8:18am UTC
    Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
    America: Well sure why not?
    Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
    America: Whatever you want!
    Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
    America: Okay, sounds like fun!
    Gay Couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
    America: WHAT THE FXCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
    Our society is messed up.
    notmyformat//tumblr
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 1078 points
15. BreakingDown_
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 4:42pm UTC
    I'm sorry that I'm not
    good enough for you. Believe me, you don't know how much I try.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points
16. o0LiveLaughLove0o
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 12:51pm UTC
    ever had a memory
    that sneaks out of your
    eye, and rolls down
    your cheek...?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points
17. 13andFearless
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 9:34am UTC
    I'm sorry
    I didn't realize that i was just another toy in your game
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 70 points
18. WonderfulLove
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 5:55pm UTC
    I swear, if I hear someone say
    YOLO
    one more time, I'm going to punch them.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 276 points
19. bubbleheart*
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2012 10:53pm UTC
    You're making me;
    hurt.
    jealous.
    insecure.
    depressed.
    angry.
    feel unwanted.
    confused.
    worried.
    and you dont even know it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 76 points
20. taylorm1818
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2012 2:05pm UTC
    At weddings old people tap
    me and say "your next"
    So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals :)
    Format by Sandrasaurus
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 302 points

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