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EjSweet2
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 10:35pm UTC

This is why I need lined paper.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 310 points

wuvyouboo
posted a quote
January 23, 2013 9:15pm UTC

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes
and someone asks for 2, how many do you
have left?
Me: 10
Teacher: If somebody forcibly takes 2 of
the cakes, how many would you have left
then?
Me: 10 and a dead body.

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Beau*
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 12:44pm UTC

ME...
*hears noises at night*: well this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*:I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child?
*heart is beating fast*:I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is?
*a cop walks by*:Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*:Don't get your eyes off this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*:great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents?
*tripping over something*:I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me?
*period is late*:Sh/t I'm pregnant I'm the next virgin mary

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EmilyxLovesxU
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 2:28pm UTC

Liam: 19 = Mental age: 30.
Zayn: 20 = Mental age: 16.
Harry: 18 = Mental age: 10.
Niall: 19 = Mental age: 13.
Louis: 21 = Mental age: 5.
Accurate.

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Yourbeautiful*
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 3:32pm UTC

One slice of pizza will not kill you
Starving yourself probably will though.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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IJustNeedLovee
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 2:09pm UTC

If there are 500 bricks on a plane and 1 falls out, how many are there?
499
What are the 3 steps of getting an elephant in the fridge?
Open the fridge, put elephant in fridge, shut the fridge.
What are the 4 steps of getting a deer in the fridge?
Open the fridge, get the elephant out, put the deer in, shut the fridge.
The Lion King is having a birthday party. Which animal isn't going?
The deer in the fridge.
A woman tries to swim across alligator infested waters. How does she do it?
Normally. The alligators are at The Lion Kings party.
She dies anyway. Why?
She gets hit on the head with the brick.
My crush told me this and I thought it was hilarious <3

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 3:45pm UTC

friend: you know there's a life
outside the internet
me: send me the link
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 3:48pm UTC

one time this dude was being
stupid so i said “well you can’t spell
stupid without u” and he got really
angry and shouted “WELL THERE’S AN ‘I’
IN STUPID TOO” and i just stared at him for a
rly long time
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:57pm UTC

normal person: sings lyrics
me: sings lyrics
sings backup vocals
sings guitar riffs
air-drums entire song
headbangs
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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demons*
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 9:53pm UTC

Friend: I miss my boyfriend
Me: So do I
Friend: He calls me baby
Me: He calls me fan
Me: Sometimes fans like plural
Me: So he'll be like "I love my fans!" and I'm like I love you too.
Friend:

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 2:43pm UTC

hey taylor, if you knew he was trouble
when he walked in, why did you date him then?

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 2:58pm UTC

the episode where spongebob goes around
asking people if he's ugly and they all run away is basically an 11 minute description of my life.

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_Mrs_Horan_
posted a quote
January 11, 2013 10:26pm UTC

The fastest way to mess up someone's Knock Knock joke
"It's open"

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 4:36pm UTC

I want a boy
who would shove ice cream in my face.
Who will wrestle with me.
Who shows me off to his friends.
Who treats me with respect.
Who will call me at 4 in the morning
and tell me he can’t stop thinking about me.
Who sings to me; even if he can’t.
Who could break my heart,
but wouldn’t even dream of it.

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strawberry_skittles
posted a quote
January 11, 2013 9:24pm UTC

✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼
Go ahead,
Pass me in the halls and pretend I don't exist.
I hope every single time we make eye contact,
You relive every memory we've ever had.
And I hope it hurts.
✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼

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cali4niagurl2497
posted a quote
February 7, 2012 4:42pm UTC

cause youre only as tall,
as your hearrt will let you be,
and youre only as small,
as the world will make you seem.
So when the going gets rough,
and you feel like you might fall,
just look on the brightside,
youre roughly six feet tall... <3

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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