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XD4thecameras

ilovepenguins46
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 7:02pm UTC

Mom: You failed your English test, didn't you?
Me: WHO TELLED YOU?!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 647 points

LolSoTrueQuotes
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 2:56pm UTC

Lol So True: #220
If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
lolsotrue.com

👍 this is good · read the comments · 279 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 11:54am UTC

People in my school better start talking to me
before I become famous

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 300 points

Arilena :)*
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 9:52am UTC

Me: *on the phone* “Good afternoon, this is ***, *** speaking, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a present for my girlfriend. She plays soccer a lot, and I was wondering if you carry Febreeze for her soccer shoes.”
Me: “Uh, yes sure we do.” *start to list varieties*
Customer: “That’s good. I really hope she likes it. Would you like it?”
Me: “Well, it depends on your girlfriend, sir. I may not enjoy the gift, but if you said that she needs it for her soccer shoes then she probably will.”
Customer: “She says she sweats a lot.”
Me: “Oh, well, soccer is a very physical game.”
Customer: “Do YOU sweat a lot?”
Me: “…um, no, not particularly.”
Customer: “So you would not like this gift.”
Me: “No sir, but I’m not your girlfriend.”
Customer: “Would you like to be?”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 279 points

randi*
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 11:37pm UTC

I have decided,
that from now on I'm going to be responding to every question like a presidential candidate.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"That's a great question - and an important one. And I WILL do something this weekend. But let me take a step back, and answer a broader question. What are we ALL doing this weekend? As a nation? As a world? This weekend, I will do something comprehensive and robust, yet fun. We all should."
"But what are you doing?"
"What I'm gonna do invlolves 3 things. First, I'm going to relax; second, it's gonna be enjoyable; lastly, I'm going to make sure it's cost-effective, and I don't get into a deficit. Four weeks ago, I said I'd do something - and I did.
THIS WEEKEND WILL BE NO DIFFERENT."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 259 points

sarahlikesbands*
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 11:40am UTC

If I like your username
I will immediately click on it
I will stalk your profile
probably fave most of your quotes
then I will follow you

👍 this is good · read the comments · 532 points

naomiyamel01
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 9:25pm UTC

Why do people take
photos of themselves
showing their middle
finger?
Seriously... Did the camera hurt you or something?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 209 points

Gablzz
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 9:45am UTC

How do
14 year olds get pregnant i can't even get a high-five from a guy

👍 this is good · read the comments · 670 points

GlowingStars
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 8:58pm UTC

There's a door at my school that has the word "Dumble" written on it.
Like if you get it :)

👍 this is good · read the comments · 218 points

giveyourheartabreak
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 9:01pm UTC

Instead of no-shave November
Let's try no-cut November.
Stay strong

👍 this is good · read the comments · 293 points

SmileyFacesAreAmazing
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 8:03pm UTC

i don't fall in love with
PEOPLE ///+
» I FALL IN LOVE WITH ♥
( ( ( m y i d e a o f t h e m ) ) )
& then get disappointed

👍 this is good · read the comments · 154 points

xPoptartStealerx
posted a quote
November 3, 2012 7:48pm UTC

It's all fun and games,
until you have to pick up the nerf darts..

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

anonymouus
posted a quote
November 2, 2012 8:26pm UTC

and if you're in love then you're the lucky one
because most of us are bitter over someone.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

AustinH
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 5:19pm UTC

So hungry,
but so lazy..
< / 3

👍 this is good · read the comments · 72 points

Justsomeday
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 9:57pm UTC

Romeo and Juliet is not a love story.
It's a 3-day relationship between a 13 year old
and a 17 year old that caused 6 deaths.
Sincerely,
everyone who actually read it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 179 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
September 18, 2012 2:57pm UTC

BravoSierra's format
All girls really want
Is a guy that will say, "Yes, that's my girlfriend, and I love her."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 405 points

Oreos
posted a quote
September 18, 2012 3:01pm UTC

How to survive a Horror Movie.
1.Never be the hero.
2.Never say 'I'll be right back'
3.Don't be curious or suspicious.
4.Always look back.
5.Don't fall over that imaginary branch.
6.Never go somewhere alone.
7.Get weapons.
8.Hide in the fridge.I'm pretty sure the killer won't want snacks.
9. Don't look through peep holes. You'll end up with one eye
10.Remember,only retards go upstairs when a killer's attacking.
11.Don't yell 'Hello' when you're alone.The killer is hardly going to reply with 'Sup Bro?Wanna
play some MW3?'
12.If it's not behind you,it's above you.Fact.
13.Don't be a smartass and try to anger the killer.You'll be the next target.
14.If it's dead,leave it alone.
15.Don't start making out with your new hot boyfriend/girlfriend/cat in the car.
16. Always listen to the old creepy guy who says there's danger ahead.
He's right.
17.It isn't your dog licking your hand. Your dog is dead.
18.If you think the monster is dead,IT'S NOT.
19.Don't go searching for something in the basement,even if the lights have gone out.
20.Make sure your gas tank is full.
21. Get a boyfriend. He'll die first which will give you more time to run.
22.You're an idiot if you think stabbing the killer is a good idea.
23.Learn to clib trees,sweetie.
24.Blood=Somebody has died/is dying.
25.Only stupid people use lamps as weapons.
26.If you get a phone call while babysitting that consists of 'Have you checked the kids?',you
just might want to make a run for it.Forget the kids,let's care about ourselves.
27.Nightmares are never just mightmares.
28.Moving to Elm Street is a bad idea,unless you want to stay up late every night. WOO RAVE!
29.Don't buy a cheap house in the middle of nowhere.
30.RUN B/ITCH RUN.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 723 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
September 18, 2012 2:45pm UTC

Maybe I'm still single because I didn't forward that chain letter to 17 of my closest friends three years ago...
That explains the the little girl with no eyes at the end of my bed, too.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 598 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 181 points

ForeverMeAndYou
posted a quote
September 17, 2012 5:33pm UTC

becoming friends with the new kids
because they don't know what a loser you are
♥

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 89 points

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