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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 18, 2013 10:31pm UTC

People who say, "Is it because I'm black?"
10%: Black people
90%: White people

👍 this is good · read the comments · 762 points

dolph*
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 11:39am UTC

THE MOMENT WHEN
Y o u s i t d o w n a b o u t t o d o y o u r h o m e w o r k
B u t y o u r l a p t o p w a l k s i n w e a r i n g s e x y l i n g e r i e a n d s e d u c e s y o u
format by miss_unique/neversaynever16

👍 this is good · read the comments · 688 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 8:09pm UTC

Most overused movie quote:
Parent: You're throwing away your dream!
Teenager: No mom/dad, I'm throwing away yours

👍 this is good · read the comments · 736 points

phee
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 4:31pm UTC

Let's face it
anything with raisins in it,
would be ten times better
with chocolate chips instead.
for example: a box of raisins

👍 this is good · read the comments · 846 points

of_mice_and_lucifer*
posted a quote
January 3, 2013 2:42pm UTC

When I'm Packing
Me: Let's see I need 10 pants cuz you never know how cold it'll get or if I spill something
Me: And 12 shirts, cuz i need a wide variety cuz what if i go to something fancy?
Me: and 14 tanks tops. I always wear tank tops.
Me: Well I need all of my bras, I can't just wear the same one everyday..
Me: And 300 pairs of underwear, what if i get my period?!?!
Me: Oh and 50 socks. You can never have too many socks, and what if my feet get cold?
Me: And 20 pairs of shoes. You never know where you're going.
Me: and here's my toothbrush, toothpaste, contacts, makeup, hair stuff, and purse.
Me: Yep I'm ready.
Me: WAIT I NEED MY CAT
Me: AND MY COMPUTER
Me: AND MY HOUSE
Me: AND RUSSIA
Me: AND THAT EXPIRED COUPON TO RALPH'S.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 753 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 2:20pm UTC

i'm wearing a jacket because
10% i'm freezing
5% it'll be cold later
85% my mother feels cold.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 779 points

Eli123qwe
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 10:57pm UTC

Witty
www.wittyprofiles.com
Takes Away Your Social Life, Sleep, and Grades!
Join Now!
AdChoices►
.
.
.
Might wanna check that ad above again ;)
double quote format by Breeze

👍 this is good · read the comments · 881 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 4:04pm UTC

one time my brother got in trouble for breaking
some stuff in the house and so since my mom
needed some new and creative methods of
punishment she made him sit down and read the
facebook
terms & conditions
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 794 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 5, 2013 1:58pm UTC

1. i woke up
2. i went to school
3. i saw him
4. i ran into him and i hugged him
5. i kissed him
actually, the correct order is 2, 3, 4, 5, 1.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 869 points

Infinity on high*
posted a quote
January 7, 2013 10:26pm UTC

Rapunzel: So, I have made the decision to trust you.
Flynn Rider: A horrible decision really.
Flynn Rider. The closest character to a realistic male, Disney ever created.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 986 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 6:38pm UTC

some of you are actually really attractive.
like wtf are you doing on the internet bro?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 877 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
December 29, 2012 12:51pm UTC

me: why is everybody
going to bed, it's only -
OH.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 854 points

BlackUmbrella
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 12:17pm UTC

person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person is typing...
person says... hi
PLOT TWIST: That person is confessing their undying love to you; spilling their guts and finally getting the courage to tell you how you feel. Then they think, delete it all and type in that one word.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 942 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 3:23pm UTC

when you get to that part of a
book where the title suddenly just
makes sense
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1006 points

ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
January 12, 2013 4:36pm UTC

I want a boy
who would shove ice cream in my face.
Who will wrestle with me.
Who shows me off to his friends.
Who treats me with respect.
Who will call me at 4 in the morning
and tell me he can’t stop thinking about me.
Who sings to me; even if he can’t.
Who could break my heart,
but wouldn’t even dream of it.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1221 points

Connork11
posted a quote
January 15, 2013 4:21pm UTC

"It's not that cold out!" Said the P.E teacher with a coat on
"It's just drizzling!" Said the P.E teach with an umbrella
"Running for 20 minutes isn't that bad!" Said the P.E teacher sitting in a chair
"You've got to stay healthy!" Said the P.E teacher that is over-weight
"Being on your period is no excuse!" Said the P.E teacher with no unterus.
NMQ

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1471 points

yourcool
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 5:51pm UTC

i had a dream where i killed all the shirtless
guys with "swag" and their duckface girlfriends, too. it was called the "yolocaust."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1316 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 21, 2013 3:54pm UTC

went to my old coach's funeral today.
i leaned over his casket and said, "walk it off you little b/tch."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 541 points

Jahyvie
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 9:43pm UTC

I don't even need a tumblr.
I can just get on Witty and read all the quotes people take from there.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 540 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 20, 2013 3:25pm UTC

i swear if my memory was any worse,
i could plan my own surprise party.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 620 points

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