Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Evolutional

  1. ven0m ven0m
    posted a quote
    December 22, 2012 12:06am UTC
    I'm gonna start a rumor.
    I'm gonna tell all my friends I can throw a 150 MPH fastball. I think a lot of them will believe me. Not the smart ones, because they'll know that's ridiculous, but a lot of them will. In like twenty years, my friends will tell their kids that they knew a guy who could throw a 150 MPH fastball. And their kids will be like, "Totally. I'm a kid so I believe everything my parents tell me because they're grown-ups and they know everything. That's awesome that a guy can throw a 150 MPH fastball." And then twenty years later, those kids will tell their kids that their grandfather knew a guy that could throw a 150 MPH fastball. And those kids will be like, "Holy cow! That guy is so athletic and good looking!" And those kids will tell their kids, and then those kids will tell their kids. Eventually, people will have no idea who I am or that I ever existed; they'll just KNOW that some dude once threw a 150 MPH fastball. Some people will be like, "What? I don't really think that's possible... That's like really fast.." But then everyone else will be like,"Don't be so closed-minded. Everyone knows that he threw a 150 MPH fastball."
    Well guess what. I can't throw a 150 MPH fastball.
    That's religion.
    Tumblr

  2. DontGetYourHopesUp DontGetYourHopesUp
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 5:11pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  3. boulevardofbrokendreams boulevardofbrokendreams
    posted a quote
    May 19, 2013 12:46pm UTC
    I can stand him not loving me-
    I CAN'T STAND HIM LOVING HER.

  4. KatieInAStrangeLand KatieInAStrangeLand
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 5:47pm UTC
    Me: WHEN I WAS
    Dad: What
    Me: A YOUNG BOY
    Dad: Oh god
    Me: MY FATHER
    Dad: not again
    Me: TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
    Dad: No I didn't
    Me: TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
    Dad: You're not even a boy

  5. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 7:42pm UTC
    To Santa Claus and Little Sisters
    By, Anonymous
    Once,
    On yellow paper, with green lines, he wrote a poem,
    And called it "Chops"
    Because that was the name of his dog,
    And that's what it was all about.
    And his teacher gave him an "A"
    and a gold star,
    And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
    And read it to all his aunts.
    That was the year his sister was born,
    With tiny toenails and no hair,
    And Father Tracy took them to the zoo
    And let them sing on the bus.
    And his mother and father kissed a lot
    And the girl around the corner sent him a Christmas card
    Signed with a row of x's.
    And his father always tucked him in at night,
    And he was always there to do it.
    Once,
    On white paper, with blue lines, he wrote another poem.
    And he called it "Autumn"
    Because that was the name of the season
    And that's what it was all about.
    And his teacher gave him an "A"
    And told him to write more clearly.
    And his mother didn't hang it on the kitchen door
    Because the door
    Had just been painted
    That was the year his sister got glasses,
    With black frames and thick lenses
    And the kids told him why mother and father
    Kissed a lot.
    And Father Tracy smoked cigars
    And left butts on the pews,
    And the girl around the block laughed
    When he went to see Santa Claus at Macy's
    And his father stopped tucking him in at night,
    And got mad at him when he cried for him to.
    Once,
    On paper torn from his notebook, he wrote another poem,
    And he called it "Question Marked Innocence",
    Because that was the name of his grief
    And that's what it was all about.
    And the professor gave him an "A"
    And a strange and steady look.
    And his mother never hung it on the door
    Because he never let her see it.
    That year he found his sister necking on the back porch
    And his parents never kissed, or even smiled.
    And he forgot how the end of "Apostle's Creed" went,
    And Father Tracy died.
    And the girl around the block wore too much make-up
    That made him cough when he kissed her,
    But he kissed her anyway
    Once
    At 3 a.m., he tucked himself in bed,
    His father snoring soundly.
    He tried another poem, on the back of a pack of matches,
    And he called it "absolutely nothing"
    Because that's what it was all about.
    And he gave himself an "A"
    And a slash on each damp wrist
    And hung it on the bathroom door,
    Because he couldn't reach the kitchen.

  6. celestialerror* celestialerror*
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 8:33pm UTC
    I'm sorry I'm not beautiful.
    I'm sorry I'm not lovely.
    I'm sorry I, more often than not,
    turn to the blade before I turn
    to you.
    I'm sorry I'm not strong enough.
    I'm sorry I can't save everyone;
    I'm sorry I can barely save myself.
    I'm sorry I'm a failure.
    I'm sorry that I keep writing
    rubbish poems, just like this one.
    I'm sorry that I'm not smart,
    and I'm sorry I have nothing
    going for me.
    I'm sorry that you have to deal with me.
    And, lastly, I'm sorry for
    being such a burden.
    (DS)

  7. celestialerror* celestialerror*
    posted a quote
    June 9, 2013 9:33pm UTC
    There was once this boy,
    he was very beautiful,
    the type of beautiful
    that takes your breath
    away.
    He sat in front of me
    in English class,
    period five.
    He never spoke a word,
    nor did I ever speak
    to him, despite how
    much I wanted to.
    He had blue eyes,
    and brown hair,
    and he wore a
    light blue cardigan.
    One day, he wasn't
    in class and my
    heart sank.
    Then, one week later,
    the newspaper said:
    local boy commits suicide.
    He wrote a leater to his
    friends, and to his family,
    telling that he loved them
    and that it wasn't their faults.
    He wrote a note to the sad
    girl who sat behind him
    in English class, period five,
    telling her that she was beautiful.
    (DS)

  8. CrazyFootballChick CrazyFootballChick
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 10:11pm UTC
    When you can't stand to be away from them, even for a minute.
    And you're desprately trying to get closer to them, even though its no longer possible.
    When you'd do anything just to have their arms around you.
    When you know exactly where their classes are, and you walk the same way they do,
    Simply to get a glance of them.
    When seeing them makes your day, and not seeing them ruins it.
    When life itself depends on whether those beautiful eyes look your way.
    When you know exactly who I'm talkling about.
    These are all the reasons why you know
    you're in love

  9. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    May 29, 2013 7:51pm UTC
    Why do some adults call children
    names like sweetie-pie or honey? What if instead of calling my mom 'mom' I called her potato salad or chicken noodle soup ohhh what now?

  10. carson5482 carson5482
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 4:30pm UTC
    "My cousin is six.
    I was talking to him the other day and I said
    'What do you want to be when you're older?'
    He looked at me and went 'A unicorn.'
    And I was like 'Why is that?'
    'So I can stab people with my head.'"

  11. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2013 3:01pm UTC
    Me: son of a b/tch
    Dog: don't you dare drag my mother into this
    Dog: she had a tough life
    Dog: You try being a single mother to 7 kids
    Me: Sorry


  12. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  13. Ceira Ceira
    posted a quote
    July 2, 2010 3:05am UTC
    When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
    You thanked her by waiting until she left the house to watch them.
    When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
    You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
    When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
    You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.
    When you were 15, she came home from work, expecting a hug.
    You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
    When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
    You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.
    When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
    You thanked her by being on the phone all night.
    When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
    You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.
    When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags
    You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
    When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
    You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
    When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
    You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
    And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
    Fave This, If Your mom means all the world to you <3

  14. kandykyra kandykyra
    posted a quote
    February 24, 2011 8:04pm UTC
    Long but worth while...i promise
    Her name was Abby
    She was only five
    This is what happened
    When she was alive
    Her dad was a drunk
    Her mom was an addict
    Her parents kept her
    Locked in an attic
    Her only friend
    was a little toy bear
    It was old and worn out
    And had patches of hair
    She always talked to it
    When no one's around
    She lays there and hugs it
    Not a peep of sound
    Until her parents
    unlock the door
    Some more and more pain
    She'll have to endore
    A bruise on her leg
    A scar on her face
    Why would she be
    In such a horrible place?
    But she grabs her bear
    And softly crys
    She loves her parents
    But they want her to die
    She sits in the corner
    Quiet but thinking,
    " God, why? Why is
    My life always sinking? "
    Such a bad life
    For a sad little kid
    She'd get beaten and beaten
    For anything she did
    Then one night
    Her mom came home high
    The poor child was hit and slapped
    As hours went by
    Then her mom suddenly
    Grabbed for a blade
    It was sharp and pointy
    One that she made
    She thrusted the blade
    Right in her chest,
    " You deserve to die
    You worthless pest! "
    The mom walked out
    Leaving the girl slowly dying
    She grabbed her bear
    And again started crying
    Police showed up
    At the small little house
    They quickly barged in
    Everything was as quiet as a mouse
    One officer slowly
    Opened a door
    To find the sad little girl
    Lying on the floor
    It must have been bad
    To go through so much harm
    But at least she died
    With her best friend in her arms
    Press the <3 if your against Child ABUSE

  15. ChocoTaco ChocoTaco
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 7:46pm UTC
    "A bird sitting on a tree
    Is never afraid of the branch breaking
    because her trust is not on the branch
    But on its own wings"
    >>Always believe in yourself<<

  16. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    May 17, 2013 3:59pm UTC
    Life is unfair. You put someone first who puts you second. You study your
    a.ss off for a final and you only get a C. You give 110% to someone in a relationship who only gives 40%. You're there for a best friend at 3:00am and the next day they don't pick up the phone. It seems you're giving everyone everything and they're just walking away with it.

  17. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    May 23, 2013 1:36pm UTC
    do you ever get so annoyed
    at everything
    that you start to get mad at even little things
    like a spoon clinking against a bowl
    or sounds of people talking?

  18. jimmy365 jimmy365
    posted a quote
    May 16, 2013 8:54pm UTC
    imagine
    reading a book of every conversation where people have spoken about you.
    f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

  19. DANMOON DANMOON
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2012 6:34pm UTC
    If Howard Schultz gave up
    after being turned down by banks 242 times
    there would be no Starbucks.
    If J.K Rowling stopped after being turned
    down by multiple publishers for years
    there would be no Harry Potter.
    If Walt Disney quit after his theme park
    concept was trashed 302 times
    there would be no Disneyland.
    If you give up too soon, you'll never know
    what you'll be missing.
    NEVER stop believing .

  20. DANMOON DANMOON
    posted a quote
    July 19, 2012 7:38pm UTC
    To realize the value of ONE YEAR
    ask a student who failed a grade
    To realize the value of ONE MONTH
    ask a monther who gave birth to a premature baby
    To realize the value of ONE WEEK
    ask the editor of a weekly newspaper
    To realize the value of ONE DAY
    ask the person who was born on February 29th
    To realize the value of ONE HOUR
    ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
    To realize the value of ONE MINUTE
    ask the person who missed the train
    To realize the vaulue of ONE SECOND
    ask the person who just advoided an accident
    To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND
    ask the person who won silver medal in the olympics

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles