Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Best Birth Quotes Ever

  1. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    June 7, 2013 3:24pm UTC
    I just told my mom I died at birth and I've been a ghost the entire time, just
    growing and manifesting into the daughter she'd lost and she's like, "Well, please go to the light because I am tired of your sh.t."

  2. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    September 20, 2013 5:19pm UTC
    So my aunt and uncle had their first child today.
    My aunt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    My uncle: *holding her hand* Are you okay??
    My aunt: I AM PASSING A HUMAN THROUGH MY VÅGINA DO YOU THINK I'M OKAY??

  3. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    August 1, 2013 7:54pm UTC
    Just a friendly reminder that
    the first thing you ever did was get pushed out your mom's vagîna

  4. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    January 29, 2013 7:53pm UTC
    That awkward moment
    between birth and death.

  5. *crybaby* *crybaby*
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2014 4:39am UTC
    imagine loving someone so much that you'd push an
    entire human out of your vágina for them like that is wild

  6. doublesidedice doublesidedice
    posted a quote
    February 18, 2013 10:03pm UTC
    Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I was never born, if I died, or if I failed at life and stopped 'living'

  7. Dishonored* Dishonored*
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 8:40pm UTC
    "Girls have it so hard. We have to deal with
    giving birth, having our periods, the possibility
    of getting r.aped, shaving/waxing our legs, doing
    our makeup, the possibility of breast cancer, etc."
    Seriously?
    1. men get r.aped too and I find it kind of disturbing
    that the majority of people don't realize that.
    2. men get breast cancer. It may be more rare,
    but it is possible.
    3. you don't *have* to do your makeup and shave/wax
    your body hair, but even if you did, ever hear of drag queens?
    They do all of that s.hit.
    And that just leaves giving birth and menstruation
    (and giving birth is optional.) So that's only two
    things on that list, one if you don't count giving birth
    because it's optional to have a baby, so I don't get
    your point. There's things guys have to deal with
    that girls don't as well. It's not a competition.

  8. writtenrain* writtenrain*
    posted a quote
    July 22, 2013 6:19pm UTC
    William and Kate had a baby boy
    I guess this means he is the half blood prince.

  9. AutumnSadness AutumnSadness
    posted a quote
    November 21, 2013 1:53pm UTC
    When We Last Saw Your Father
    He was sitting in the hospital parking lot
    in a borrowed car, counting the windows
    of the building and guessing which one
    was glowing with his mistake.
    a poem by Warsan Shire

  10. IfILoseMyself IfILoseMyself
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2013 5:17pm UTC
    If everyone got a free minature animal at birth that protected you, like an elephants or dragon, the world would be a better place.

  11. Just an average kid* Just an average kid*
    posted a quote
    May 29, 2013 7:36pm UTC
    We had to watch a video of a woman giving birth in school today and it's official I'm adopting

  12. keep_dreaming101 keep_dreaming101
    posted a quote
    September 1, 2013 6:39pm UTC
    I haven't taken a good picture since...birth.

  13. TellitTotheFrogs* TellitTotheFrogs*
    posted a quote
    March 2, 2013 11:46am UTC
    "The two most important days
    of your life is the day you are born
    and the day you find out why." — Mark Twain

  14. Michelle* Michelle*
    posted a quote
    November 10, 2013 5:19pm UTC
    The two most important days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why

  15. kowhyda* kowhyda*
    posted a quote
    July 15, 2013 2:32am UTC
    I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID,
    I USED TO THINK THAT PEOPLE GAVE BIRTH BY TAKING A LARGE CHAINSAW AND SAWING THEIR STOMACH OPEN WITH GUTS JUST FLYING EVERYWHERE AND BLOOD SPLATTERING ALL OVER THE WALLS.

  16. madeleinebabeee madeleinebabeee
    posted a quote
    July 9, 2014 2:58pm UTC
    Next week I'm going to give birth...I'm scared but so happy!!!! :o

  17. gooddeeds gooddeeds
    posted a quote
    May 12, 2015 5:41am UTC
    The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.~Quoted by Jennifer Weiner, in Little Earthquakes

  18. appleloop* appleloop*
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2013 5:42pm UTC
    I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were, so you could go on this journey when you're ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don't take dating as seriously as you do. That would be so convenient.

  19. Heartless17* Heartless17*
    posted a quote
    February 18, 2013 10:09pm UTC
    Watching Switched at Birth with my niece. Two characters using sign language.
    My niece: Wow! They talk like Jonah. (My deaf little brother)
    Me:
    My niece:

  20. Miluiel* Miluiel*
    posted a quote
    August 17, 2013 3:07pm UTC
    the first eighty years after birth are always the hardest

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles