Silence_Is_Golden*'s Favorites

yourcool
posted a quote
December 30, 2012 5:51pm UTC

i had a dream where i killed all the shirtless
guys with "swag" and their duckface girlfriends, too. it was called the "yolocaust."

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1316 points

yourcool
posted a quote
January 24, 2013 6:20pm UTC

i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with
glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1462 points

wittyquotesgurl
posted a quote
December 2, 2012 6:08pm UTC

Yahoo! Answers
Resolved Question
Dumbest rumor you've heard about yourself?
-____-
.......................................................................................................................................
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
When I was in middle school, people were saying that I was homeschooled.
Even though I went to school.
format credit jimmy365

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1401 points

capsized*
posted a quote
November 25, 2013 3:29pm UTC

THERE'S A HELL.
I 'VE SEEN I T.
THERE'S A HEAVEN.
LET'S KEEP IT A SECRET.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 64 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 25, 2013 3:42pm UTC

omg so in one of my morning classes this girl was eating a banana and the professor was like “dO YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO SHARE” and the giRL PULLS LIKE EIGHT BANANAS OUT OF HER BOOKBAG

👍 this is good · read the comments · 265 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
November 25, 2013 5:18pm UTC

Do NOT touch my iPhone.
It's not an usPhone.
It's not a wePhone.
It's not an ourPhone,
It's an iPhone.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 128 points

spence*
posted a quote
November 26, 2013 12:10pm UTC

Today in gym class we were doing major climbing and halfway up this girl freezes and goes “I CAN’T DO IT I CAN’T DO IT”
so some dude yells “MY AUNT SAID DAT AT HER WEDDIN’ BUT SHE MARRIED DAT FINE-A SS DOCTOR AND NOW SHE RICH AS HELL” the girl did it. truly inspiring.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 95 points

CharliesTheName
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 4:10pm UTC

Ways that I start a conversation
1) I'm so tired.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 122 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 2:08pm UTC

It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 130 points

spence*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 12:13pm UTC

wait a minute this isn’t my homework
this is witty
how did this happen

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 132 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 8:35pm UTC

Sister: *Holds open door for random person*
Me: Why are you so nice to people you'll never see again?
Sister: Why are you so nice to people on the Internet you won't ever see?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 172 points

*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
November 17, 2013 4:27pm UTC

Things to say/do to a telemarker;
"I'm blind, could you repeat that?"
(Speak with perfect English) "I don't speak English, sorry!"
Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" Then hang up.
"My grandma fell off a cliff last week, don't you even care?!" Then hang up.
Act real interested, then at then end tell them no thanks and hang up.
Try to sell THEM something.
Pick up the phone and say "It's completed, but there's blood everywhere."
"Hello, this is the local spe.rm bank. You jack it we pack it! How may we help you?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 2:51pm UTC

i got my first period on april fools day & no one in my house believed me so i sat in my bathroom all day crying

👍 this is good · read the comments · 250 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 2:11pm UTC

OMG ive always wanted a gay best friend!!!
or a straight best friend
or a best friend.
or a friend

👍 this is good · read the comments · 208 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 17, 2013 2:26pm UTC

"honey, i’m pregnant."
“hello pregnant,” he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. “i’m dad.”

👍 this is good · read the comments · 216 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 18, 2013 2:13pm UTC

When I get comfortable with people I start using them as pillows and foot rests

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 225 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 16, 2013 2:55pm UTC

Me: For Christmas I want a boyfriend
Santa: Let's be realistic

👍 this is good · read the comments · 320 points

MissAnna
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 8:24pm UTC

finally got over
that song of ours.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 46 points

happiest*
posted a quote
November 22, 2013 3:11pm UTC

apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing

👍 this is good · read the comments · 306 points

Ethanol
posted a quote
November 22, 2013 9:41am UTC

“You look how you look.
Be comfortable.
What are you going to do?
Be hungry every single day just to
make other people happy?
That’s just dumb.”
- J E N N I F E R
L A W R E N C E

👍 this is good · read the comments · 141 points

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Silence_Is_Golden*