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*kawaii satan*

  1. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2014 6:07pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  2. wittygirl1 wittygirl1
    posted a quote
    February 12, 2014 9:55pm UTC
    So like um
    If this gets 15 favorites/comments...
    I'll tell him how I feel..

  3. appleloop* appleloop*
    posted a quote
    February 1, 2014 5:56pm UTC
    *Normal person trips*Friend: Are you okay?
    Normal person: Yep.
    *I trip* Friend: Oh here we go- Me: AND AS THE SUN WENT DOWN WE ENDED UP ON THE GROUND.

  4. spence* spence*
    posted a quote
    January 29, 2014 1:43pm UTC
    there’s always that one character you like so much its almost embarrassing

  5. Rajsonkar Rajsonkar
    posted a quote
    January 28, 2014 7:05pm UTC
    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
    Teach a man how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime .
    Give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish

  6. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥*
    posted a quote
    January 21, 2014 11:26am UTC
    At least I never went through the "Rawr means I love you in dinosaur" phase

  7. dreamer* dreamer*
    posted a quote
    January 19, 2014 7:40am UTC
    I hate it when a student asks a legit question
    because they're confused and the teacher treats them like an idiot.
    Like no wonder students don’t want to ask questions.

  8. Amenah Amenah
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2014 4:42pm UTC
    I love witty because:
    - there are a few users who've been following me for so long that just by reading my quotes, they know me and even if we never speak, they can comfort me with just one comment. (jesusismysunshine & beautifullyimperfect: http://www.wittyprofiles.com/q/6952774)
    - i don't care if it's weird, i love venting to strangers
    - i've met some really cool people (they know who they are)
    - fellow fangirls
    - seriously, i'm only here for the venting and the good chats
    I hate witty because:
    - most of you are too immature to function
    - it keeps changing for the worse
    - i'm lazy and pretty quotes require effort
    - seriously, most of you are annoying sandbags of pain-in-the-*ss
    - it can take up so much time
    - most users seem obsessed with faves and that's so laaame
    - comments. (i don't actually like talking to most people)
    - SO MANY USERS ARE IDIOTS
    I'll leave witty when:
    I f*cking well want to. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in a few years. (haha jk no way in hell i'm sticking around for that long)
    (but like)
    (i might)
    (but no way)

  9. Onism* Onism*
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2014 11:50am UTC
    "High school's the place where dreams go to die."
    -the downtown fiction
    Format by Breeze

  10. imperfect * imperfect *
    posted a quote
    January 18, 2014 9:27am UTC
    Plot twist:
    You wake up for school fully rested and ready to socialize.

  11. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2014 3:04pm UTC
    Studies show that 1 in 4 white girls
    "literally can't even" right now.

  12. yourcool yourcool
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2014 7:09am UTC
    the head of a company survived 9/11 because
    his son started kindergarten.
    another fellow was alive because it was
    his turn to bring donuts.
    one woman was late because her
    alarm clock didn't go off in time.
    one was late because of being stuck in the NJ turnpike
    because of an auto accident.
    one of them
    missed his bus.
    one spilled food on her clothes and had to take
    time to change.
    one's
    car wouldn't start.
    one couldn't
    get a taxi.
    the one that stuck me the most was the man
    who put on a new pair of shoes that morning.
    took the various means to get to work but before
    he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.
    he stopped at a drugstore to buy a band-aid.
    that is what he is alive today...
    now when i am
    stuck in traffic
    miss an elevator,
    turn back to answer a ringing telephone...
    all the little things that annoy me,
    i think to myself,
    this is exaclty where
    i'm meant to be
    at the very moment.

  13. Jordan.* Jordan.*
    posted a quote
    January 16, 2014 4:35pm UTC
    Life Hacks. From iFunny,
    #001
    A handicapped parking
    spot needs a sign to be valid.
    If it just has a wheelchair
    painted on the ground, you
    can legally park there.
    #002
    Running low on battery?
    Put your phone on airplane
    mode and it'll charge much
    faster.
    #003
    Fold your receipt around the
    gift card to always
    know the balance.
    #004
    If you want to download
    a YouTube video, just add "ss"
    to the URL between www.
    and YouTube.
    #005
    Use a spring from an old
    pen to keep your charger from
    bending or breaking.
    #006
    Have a good twenty minute work
    out in the morning. Then you
    can be lazy for the rest of the day
    without feeling guilty.
    #007
    Mixing alcohol with diet
    coke will get you more drunk
    than mixing it with
    regular coke.
    #008
    Tell people to pick a number
    between 12 and 5, 95% of
    people choose seven (because
    they automatically subtract it).
    #009
    Make a password into a goal
    of yours so you constantly have
    to be reminded of it.
    #010
    Sugar can cure a burnt
    tongue.
    #011
    When a friend is venting
    to you, sometimes it's better
    to stay silent instead of
    trying to give advice.
    #012
    Putting your phone on airplane
    mode will stop ads while
    playing games.
    #013
    Mosquito bite? Press a hot
    spoon onto the spot. The heat
    will destroy the reaction and
    the itching will stop.
    #014
    Need some free WiFi? The
    best places to go are Panera,
    McDonalds, Apple Store, Office
    Depot, Staples, and Courtyard
    Marriott.
    #015
    Have left over coffee from
    this morning? Make coffee ice
    cubes. Can be used to cool iced
    coffee without diluting it.
    #016
    If the taxi driver asks if
    you're "from around here,"
    lie and say yes- sometimes they
    drive farther (driving up the
    price) for tourists.
    #017
    Going to a bar? Start by
    giving the bartender a $20 tip.
    You'll get amazing service the
    rest of the night.
    #018
    If you ever get caught sleeping
    on the job or in school, slowly
    raise your head and say "In
    Jesus' name, amen."
    #019
    Wrinkly shirt? Throw it in
    the dryer with a few ice cubes
    for 5 minutes. Wrinkles gone.
    #020
    If you pay $65, you can register
    your dog as an "Emotional
    Support Animal" & it'll be illegal
    for landlords to refuse to
    rent to you.
    #021
    If you chew gum when you
    study a subject and then chew
    the same flavor when you
    take the test it can help
    you remember.
    #022
    On 7/11, 7-Eleven gives
    out free slurpees in honor
    of it.
    #023
    Put pancake mix in a Ketchup
    bottle for a clean no-mess
    experience.
    #024
    If you bought something
    on Amazon and the price goes
    down within 30 days you can
    e-mail them and they will
    send you the difference.
    #025
    A cure for headaches: Take a
    lime, cut it in half, and rub it on
    your forehead. The throbbing
    should go away.
    #026
    If you ever go to a zoo,
    wear the same colors as the
    employees do. The animals will
    come right up to you instead
    of backing away.
    #027
    You can turn an old CD spindle
    into a unique bagel holder.
    #028
    Don't want to be embarrassed
    when buying something? Buy
    a birthday card with it.
    #029
    Feeling ugly? Go sit in
    Wal-Mart for 2 hours. You will
    feel a lot better.
    #030
    On www.Supercook.com
    you just enter what ingredients
    you have and it tells you what
    meals you have and how
    to make them.
    #031
    If a disk is skipping, rub
    a banana over it to seal the
    scratches. Remember to wipe
    it off before you stick it
    back in.
    #032
    Need to tell a believable lie?
    Include an embarrassing detail,
    nobody doubts a story that
    makes you look dumb.
    #033
    If you ever get trapped
    underwater in your car, use
    your carseat headrest to
    break the window.
    #034
    If someone presses all of
    the buttons on the elevator, you
    can avoid stopping on each floor
    by pressing each button
    again twice.
    #035
    Getting nauseous from reading
    in the car? Tilt your head side
    to side and it'll go away.
    #036
    In areas with lots of stoplights,
    going exactly the speed
    limit will help you hit
    more green lights.
    #037
    You can heal paper
    cuts and immediately stop the
    pain with chapstick.
    #038
    When ordering coffee, ask
    for a medium in a large cup.
    They'll likely accidentally over
    fill it and you'll get a cheap
    large coffee.
    #039
    If you mess up a voicemail
    to someone, press "#" to erase
    and re-record.
    #040
    When someone new is
    hanging out with you and your
    friends, call your friends by their
    names so the new person has a
    chance to memorize them.
    #041
    Want to park somewhere
    you're not allowed to park?
    Keep the envelope from a
    parking ticket and put it under
    your windshield wipers.
    #042
    If you have a tough decision
    flip a coin, not to decide for
    you, but you'll realize what you
    really want when it's in the air.
    #043
    Lick your wrist and smell
    it. This is what your breath
    smells like to others.
    #044
    If you accidentally close a
    tab, close+shift+t reopens it.
    #045
    If you ever get kidnapped
    and they tie your hands together
    and put tape over your mouth,
    lick the tape until it falls off.

  14. ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ * ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
    posted a quote
    January 15, 2014 4:52pm UTC
    Cat: *whiny meow*
    Me: *imitates sarcastically*

  15. ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ * ๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
    posted a quote
    January 13, 2014 8:10pm UTC
    things that say a lot about a person
    •their favourite character
    •the lyrics they write on their hands
    •the colours they wear
    •which murder weapon they prefer
    •how they make their tea

  16. *silvergirl* *silvergirl*
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2014 11:40am UTC
    this is sempiternal
    will we ever see the end
    this is sempiternal
    over and over again

  17. ^_^* ^_^*
    posted a quote
    January 11, 2014 3:21pm UTC
    People need to learn that you can't self diagnose yourself with depression.

  18. ^_^* ^_^*
    posted a quote
    January 10, 2014 4:12pm UTC
    Kids with broken legs don't have to do PE, but kids with Social Anxiety still have to do public speaking, isn't there a problem there...

  19. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    January 10, 2014 2:12pm UTC
    Even if i have a pocket full of fúcks,
    I would still not give you one.

  20. WittyKittyxo WittyKittyxo
    posted a quote
    January 10, 2014 2:21pm UTC
    they laugh at me because
    i'm different
    i laugh at them because
    they're all the same
    -Kurt Cobain

:)

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