Witty Profiles

dreamer*

1. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   February 22, 2014 4:08am UTC
   website: You have to be over the age of 18 to enter this site.
   me: haha lol yeah sure I am *clicks*
   me:
   me: wait I'm 20 years old
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 64 points
2. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   February 15, 2014 8:34am UTC
   Me: oh that's cute!
   Me: *checks price tag*
   Me: no it's not.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 124 points
3. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   February 13, 2014 10:17am UTC
   jesus: mom I told you I didn't want a big party
   mary: THE WHOLE WORLD WILL CELEBRATE EVERY YEAR
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 123 points
4. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   February 7, 2014 3:12pm UTC
   Are you staring at me because you’re checking me out
   or are you staring at me because I’m ugly?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 81 points
5. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 30, 2014 3:17pm UTC
   Friend: go ask
   Me: no you go ask
   Friend: no you
   Me: fine,can I have ketchup?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 75 points
6. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 26, 2014 6:21am UTC
   Half the world’s starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 137 points
7. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 19, 2014 7:40am UTC
   I hate it when a student asks a legit question
   because they're confused and the teacher treats them like an idiot.
   Like no wonder students don’t want to ask questions.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 141 points
8. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 9, 2014 3:25pm UTC
   mom: hey can i borrow your compu-
   me: *swallows laptop*
   mom:
   me:
   mom:
   me: what computer?
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 91 points
9. dreamer*
   posted a quote
   January 7, 2014 9:22am UTC
   What if we all looked the way we wanted?
   Our ideal weight became reality, our worries about
   money washed away.Your love life is exactly the
   way you pictured it.Do you think we’d all be happier?
   Or would we just find new things to hate?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 141 points
10. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    January 2, 2014 1:55pm UTC
    Do you ever start to get like really irrationally mad at people
    for no reason like because they’re standing around in the
    kitchen and won’t leave when you want to get some food or
    they move something you set down somewhere else or they
    forget to close the door when they leave like it’s just a stupid
    little thing but it makes you so mad.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 64 points
11. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2013 1:11pm UTC
    me: oh I look nice in this picture!
    me: I'm gonna use it as profile picture on all my social network accounts for the next 54 years.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 91 points
12. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    December 26, 2013 1:04pm UTC
    me: *takes 50 selfies*
    me: *deletes 49*
    me: *stares at that one selfie til it turns ugly*
    me: *deletes that too*
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 91 points
13. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2013 10:11am UTC
    Do you ever get the urge to clean your entire room and then
    5 minutes after u start you’re like nah son and you just lay on the floor.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 109 points
14. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    December 12, 2013 8:30am UTC
    parents: you spend too much time on the computer, it's like you're addicted.
    me: fine..can I go out?
    parents: no
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 81 points
15. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    December 3, 2013 9:40am UTC
    me:I have waited 50 years for this.
    mom:You're 17.
    me:I have waited 50 years for this.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 70 points
16. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    November 19, 2013 8:34am UTC
    mom: how are your grades this semester?
    me: mother what's important is that we have our health.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 79 points
17. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    November 5, 2013 10:23am UTC
    You wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs,
    full of excitement.Somebody is stealing all of your christmas
    presents.It is jesus. “It's my birthday, not yours” he hisses
    menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 118 points
18. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    October 28, 2013 10:03am UTC
    Sometimes you just need someone to tell you
    you're not as terrible as you think you are.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 113 points
19. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 9:02am UTC
    me on my wedding day: You still like me right?
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 121 points
20. dreamer*
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2013 8:47am UTC
    me at restaurants: Is there wi-fi
    me at the mountains: Is there wi-fi
    me at the beach: Is there wi-fi
    me at family parties: Is there wi-fi
    me at school: Is there wi-fi
    me in hell: Is there wi-fi
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 125 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles