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happiest*
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 2:37pm UTC

A reported asked a couple:
"How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?"
The woman replied:"We were born in a time when if something was broken, we would fix it, not throw it away"
This is real love

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Halo Angel1*
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 9:39pm UTC

A baby's laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.
Unless it's 2am.
And you're home alone.
And you don't have a baby.

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Cammie
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 2:04pm UTC

Remeber when
# meant number?

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Cammie
posted a quote
June 6, 2013 7:49pm UTC

My English teacher staples
Burger King applications on failed tests.

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 5:48pm UTC

*At the end of the school year*
Me: *Starts making friends*
*Summer*
Me: *Doesn't bother to call, text, or hang out with any of my friends*
*Beginning of next school year*
Me: *Back at 'loser with no friends' stage*

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 7:06am UTC

Me in the morning: I'm gonna wear a dress today to school
Getting ready: I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!
As soon as I get on the bus: This was a terrible idea.

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 11:39am UTC

witty pick-up line: i hate a lot of people, but i don't hate you.

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 4:15pm UTC

There are two sides to me:
My motivated side: WHOO!! Time to run a marathon!! Do five thousand crunches, and then cut all the bad foods out of my diet!! I'm gonna reach all my goals this year!
My unmotivated side: Can you like ... not?

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BravoSierra
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 8:17pm UTC

cop: sir, what is that bottle next to you?
man: water.
cop: sir, that is wine.
man: what?
man: that jesus.
man: he did it again.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 5:18pm UTC

Me: Ughhh finals are coming up soon.
Everyone: Finals?
Everyone: Are you in summer school?
Everyone: School ended 3 weeks ago.
Me: No, my school is just scared of weather changes so we end school at the end of June.

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happiest*
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 3:39pm UTC

click to see this quote

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WeAreTheBoys
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 6:58pm UTC

Teacher: OK class, today we're going to play a game. When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court, and when I say a colour, you run to the left side of the court. Everyone understand?
Class: Yes sir!!!
Teacher: Ready..set...ORANGE!!!

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Cammie
posted a quote
June 2, 2013 7:01pm UTC

Spongebob: What if I break your trust someday?
Patrick: Trusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is your choice.

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Cammie
posted a quote
June 6, 2013 7:53pm UTC

The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else.
Hit.ler had millions, Jesus had 12.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
June 6, 2013 2:18pm UTC

if you think
I’m attractive, you probably have the world’s lowest standards

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kristabff
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 3:15pm UTC

Me: ~sees cat outside my door~
Me: ~picks up cat and puts her on my bed~
Me: So, how're you baby boo? ~pets cat~
Cat: ~immediately jumps off bed and runs out of the room~
REJECTED
© format by: h0peful

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jimmy365
posted a quote
June 4, 2013 9:12pm UTC

have you ever
thought about how weird sleeping is like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats then spend the next few hours completely comatose all the while hallucinating vividly
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 n m q!

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Cammie
posted a quote
June 5, 2013 8:19pm UTC

Oh, you got a 97 on a test and your upset about it?
here, use my 56 to dry your tears.

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happiest*
posted a quote
June 3, 2013 3:45pm UTC

Kid I babysit: There's a monster under my bed!.
Me: That's silly there's no such thing as- OMG IT'S TEARING MY ARM!
Me: Just kidding, he only eats kids.
Me: Goodnight.

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theawkwardauthor
posted a quote
June 9, 2013 5:54pm UTC

Plot twist: Somebody on Tumblr steals a quote from Witty.

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