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1. Vinita*
   posted a quote
   October 15, 2014 11:19pm UTC
   What's dead, and rhymes with sh*tty?
   Oh yeah
   Witty
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points
2. yourcool
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2013 4:50pm UTC
   boys like it when you're playful mean
   with them. so call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families. they'll love you.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 264 points
3. Unicornasaurus
   posted a quote
   May 11, 2013 7:54pm UTC
   When We Cuddle
   I hope you dont mind if I,
   -wrap my legs around yours
   -lay my head above your heart
   -run my hands through your hair
   -play footsie with you
   -put my hand on your tummy
   -play with yours hands
   -give you fishy kisses
   -talk about my day
   -sing you a song
   -fall asleep in your arms
   -sacrifice you to satan
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 25 points
4. WhathePotato
   posted a quote
   April 27, 2013 8:52pm UTC
   Someone: OH YEAH!!! I AM SSSOOOOOO HOT!!!!!
   Me: Of course you are...
   Me: You're sitting on a heating vent.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
5. TaintedCorruption
   posted a quote
   February 17, 2013 12:19pm UTC
   Why do dogs go mental when they see another dog? I imagine that in their heads they're like:
   THAT IS DOG
   I AM DOG
   DOG DOG DOG DOG
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 111 points

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