“love is watching someone die.”
This song lyric hits me hard because of the immense truth behind it. It's easy to misinterpret and think, what the hell? How is that love? But seriously. Love is watching someone die, when there is nothing you can do to save them. It's caring for them anyway, trying to make them as comfortable as possible in their final days. It's not running away because you can't handle the imminent, it's sticking it out for their sake and being there for them through it all. Loyal to the bitter end. It's washing their hair in the kitchen sink because they can no longer get in the shower, it's helping them stand and walk to the toilet, it's gently coaxing them to eat or drink a little bit of something, anything, to keep themselves hydrated and at a decent weight. It's holding an emesis bag to their mouth when that minimal food or fluid they managed to swallow down comes right back up. It's bringing them a pair of warm socks when you visit them in the hospital to keep their feet from getting cold, and applying the chapstick that they always vigorously wore to their dry lips. It's warming your food in a microwave on your back porch because you know the smell makes their stomach turn. It's giving them their pain medication every few hours even when they yell at you and try to refuse it. It's emptying out their biliary drain. It's not taking it personally when they snap at you for making ''too much'' noise because you know their suffering is so great that their tolerance for little everyday annoyances is very low. It's realizing they still want you there by their side anyway. It's laying with them silently in a dark room because just each other's presence is comforting for both of you. It's wiping their face, holding their hand, telling them it's okay to leave you and go home to Jesus if it means peace for them. It's reading a Bible verse to them as they lay on their deathbed, struggling to take in the air that is their anchor for remaining in this world, so that they may have a smooth transition into the next life. It's the most painful experience to watch someone you love deteriorate and die, but it is the most selfless and powerful demonstration of your love for them as well. And I will always be thankful that I had the incredible privilege of loving you in health/life, and through sickness/death.
seafoam*