Laughoutloud Quotes

wonderful_me
posted a quote
May 13, 2014 6:38am UTC

Dad: Son, I'm going to arrange you to a marriage
Son: No
Dad: It's going to be Bill Gates' daughter
Son: Then ok
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad: Let my son marry your daughter
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank
Bill Gates: Then ok.
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank
President: No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates
President: Then ok!
THIS IS BUISNESS

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SANDD*
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 11:14am UTC

roses are red
violets are blue
popped a molly i'm sweatin woo.

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SANDD*
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 11:13am UTC

i was never jealous of barbies
body. i was jealous of all the sht she had and that fcking mansion and her pimp a.ss car and her hot boyfriend

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SANDD*
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 11:12am UTC

putting on makeup is such a
spiritual experience; i watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror, i love it

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SANDD*
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 11:11am UTC

yes, i am double jointed.
*smokes two joints at once*

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SANDD*
posted a quote
April 21, 2014 11:11am UTC

weight should be like virginity.
once you lose it you can never get it back.

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Aяιαηηα Mα∂∂αℓєηα Cяιηαмσятє*
posted a quote
February 15, 2014 2:40pm UTC

= Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework?Me: I decided to have a social life. format by fake_a_smile

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Aяιαηηα Mα∂∂αℓєηα Cяιηαмσятє*
posted a quote
February 3, 2014 4:16pm UTC

OMG! Can I tell you something! I... have the Littlest Pet Shop.. theme song ON MY PHONE!!

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J I L L I A N ; )*
posted a quote
October 24, 2013 7:37pm UTC

Dear Edward Cullen,
You stay young forever &
sneak into the rooms of young girls?
How original..
Sincerely, Peter Pan.

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Korilakkuma
posted a quote
August 29, 2013 8:35pm UTC

I just wanted to say...
I love all of you guys to the moon and more!
I think you guys are great and amazing and I hope your day has been just as great as I believe you are.
If it hasn't, keep your chin up and push through! I hope tomorrow will definitely be a lot better.
++++++
If you ever feel like you want to speak to someone, I do not really have good advice but I am always here for you!
Have a nice evening/day/morning ! :)

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Olisbabe *
posted a quote
March 5, 2013 8:49pm UTC

Kid: Mommy, what's in your stomach?
Mom: Your baby sister!
Kid: do you love her?
Mom: very much!
Kid: Then why did you eat her?!
omgg. This is so freaking cute c; NMQ/NMF

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terrazebra
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 10:29am UTC

I didn't fall.....The floor just needed a hug(:

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