you know whats fucked up? im not scared of my oesophagus rupturing. im not scared of electrolyte imbalances. im not scared of gastric rupture. im not scared of arrhythmia. all of those i could die from. im already showing signs of the first two and at times, the last one. but im not scared.
what im scared of is the starvation eating away at my brain cells.
i would rather die than lose my intelligence. ive lost my looks to this disease. my hair falls out, my teeth are rotting, my skin's a joke. i can't be stupid too.
im more scared of being stupid than i am of dying a painful death from bulimia.
if thats not fucked idk what is sorry