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Member Since: 20 Mar 2012 03:48pm

Last Seen: 2 Mar 2013 06:57am

Birthday: December 22

Gender: F

user id: 285234

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im grace im a recovering bulimic im a lesbian and i love kaya scodelario a lot thats about it bye
  1. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    February 17, 2013 3:49pm UTC
    Sometimes for a second, when the glance in the mirror is unprecedented, I think I see the truth.
    Just for a second, before the pervasion of screaming negativity erupts, I see an emaciated girl instead of an obese one.
    Just for a second, I see my collarbones. I see every bone of my ribcage sticking out of my back. I see my jeans balancing on my hipbones.
    For a second, I see arms that look like chicken bones and thighs that don't touch. I see calves that should never belong to someone who has danced for a decade. I see a withering, dying girl, and I love it.
    But then it changes and all I see is fat.
    I live for the incidents where the truth breaks through the eating disorder.

  2. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 12:43pm UTC
    you know whats fucked up? im not scared of my oesophagus rupturing. im not scared of electrolyte imbalances. im not scared of gastric rupture. im not scared of arrhythmia. all of those i could die from. im already showing signs of the first two and at times, the last one. but im not scared.
    what im scared of is the starvation eating away at my brain cells.
    i would rather die than lose my intelligence. ive lost my looks to this disease. my hair falls out, my teeth are rotting, my skin's a joke. i can't be stupid too.
    im more scared of being stupid than i am of dying a painful death from bulimia.
    if thats not fucked idk what is sorry

  3. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    January 17, 2013 2:38pm UTC
    What is it I'm trying to prove by making myself throw up multiple times a day?
    What point am I trying to get across? That if all else fails, I have the ability to puke?
    Is that really what my life has become?

  4. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2012 11:42am UTC
    before i leave witty for what will probably be quite a long time, i just want to say:
    if you want to lose weight, eat 1500 calories of good, healthy food - not just salad! - a day and do 30-60 minutes of exercise.
    do not starve yourself. do not even try. you will not be able to stop once you reach your """ultimate goal weight."""
    anorexia is not a quick-fix. bulimia is not an eat-what-you-like diet. they don't make you thin. they make you walking recipes for suicide.
    i should know. they did to me.

  5. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 17, 2012 3:30pm UTC
    At the beginning of Marya Hornbacher's book Wasted, she talks about an anorectic in her hometown who doused herself with gasoline and set herself alight because she couldn't bear the knowledge of her corporeality, simply knowing she had a body. She couldn't stand to have a body anymore.
    I had never heard my own personal thoughts and emotions described so perfectly up until the point at which I read about the suicidal anorectic.
    How fitting.

  6. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 14, 2012 3:58pm UTC
    I'm done.
    I told my parents everything. I got the help I need.
    I'm done because I weigh the same as an eleven year old child, I'm fucking emaciated, I'm functioning on nothing, I'm throwing up everything I eat until I spit blood, and it's gotten to a point where I can barely dress myself because I'm scared of touching my body, scared of feeling all the fat.
    I'm done with waking up every morning and leaving half my hair behind.
    I'm done with the knowledge that I'm infertile, can't have children, because of this.
    I'm done with keeping bags of vomit in my bedroom.
    I'm done with bruising around my stomach.
    I'm done with barely being able to walk thanks to laxative abuse,
    I'm done with crying over food, crying because I don't want to eat it even though I haven't eaten all day.
    I'm done with my hands constantly shaking.
    I'm done with always being cold, the kind of impossible cold which you can't break through even with 5 layers of clothing and a sauna and a hot shower, because somehow, the cold is inside you, not outside.
    I'm done with being withdrawn, moody, I'm done with hating everyone for no apparent reason.
    I've wasted my life. I could've eaten icecream with my friends on summer nights whilst we talked about boys but it's 120 calories a scoop so no no no.
    I'm scared of impromptu eating, scared of keeping the food down, scared of sitting still because I'm not burning calories.
    I get people at the station when I get the train calling me a freak because I walk up and down whilst I wait, but I do that because I can't bring myself to stand still, can't face the guilt.
    I'm DONE. I'm through with these FUCKING eating disorders.
    This is it.
    I'm recovering.
    Because I'm thirteen years old and I have another sixty-odd years before I'm supposed to die.

  7. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 11, 2012 4:54pm UTC
    I probably won't live to see fifteen.
    I'll probably puke myself to death.
    I couldn't care less.

  8. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 10, 2012 2:34pm UTC
    maths is actually fast becoming my favourite lesson bc i sit on a table w/ these two girls and theyre like the smartest girls in our year but they both think im a really good writer and they make me write stories for them and they always compliment my writing and just aw its fab
    and like we have loads of laughs like today one of them (rachel) was missing so me and the other one (chloe) drew a stick person as a replacement for her and like aw
    idk man maths is just great rn

  9. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 9:31am UTC
    why do people call their eating disorders "ana" and "mia" and act like they're bffs if bulimia were a person then i would perform satanic rituals on her and stomp on her in six-inch stilettos before throwing her into a fire for the stuff she's made me do i literally dont get it why would you like having an ED omg

  10. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 2, 2012 4:45pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  11. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    December 2, 2012 8:08am UTC
    hm i wonder what'll happen if my oesophagus ruptures and i die next time i throw up
    wait i really dont care if that happens or not anymore :)))))

  12. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 26, 2012 12:40pm UTC
    i pinky promised the girl i kind of really fucking love that if i don't binge and purge then she won't cut
    i cant have her cut but im so attached to my bulimia hELP?????

  13. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 25, 2012 8:54am UTC
    click to see this quote

  14. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 17, 2012 3:49pm UTC
    all she's got is the memory of a girl
    who used to laugh a lot
    now she's very angry
    cause they say she's lost the plot

  15. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 10, 2012 5:31pm UTC
    starting to wonder if i might actually have body dysmorphic disorder or something because common sense tells me its just not possible for a girl of five foot seven who weighs 92 pounds to see herself as being about 120-130 when she looks in the mirror hm

  16. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 9, 2012 1:21pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  17. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 9, 2012 1:14pm UTC
    "the stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking didn’t make her skinny, it made her cry”

  18. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 5, 2012 1:39pm UTC
    d e a d g i r l w a l k i n g

  19. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2012 12:38pm UTC
    day 1- 15 facts about you
    day 2- the initials of the person you loved for the longest.
    day 3- your closest friends to you
    day 4- the thing you most fear
    day 5- the saddest moment in your life
    day 6- favorite sport(s)
    day 7- favorite song(s)
    day 8- your deepest secret
    day 9- first impression on the guy you like now
    day 10- last time you cried
    day 11- thing closest to your heart
    day 12- when you hear this song you cry
    day 13- place wanna visit really badly
    day 14- favorite book
    day 15- favorite animal
    day 16- favorite show
    day 17- last time someone hurt you
    day 18- the story behind your life
    day 19- person who scares you the most
    day 20- last major injury
    day 21- favorite youtube video
    day 22- phone type
    day 23- biggest confection
    day 24- last break up
    day 25- last heart break
    day 26- the day you regret the most
    day 27- first friend
    day 28- favorite drink
    day 29- a letter to someone in your life
    DAY 3
    calories um whoopS

  20. Temptress Temptress
    posted a quote
    November 4, 2012 12:29pm UTC
    one direction fanbase: its so rude to say you don't like 1D's music when they've done nothing to hurt you look at how far they've come you can't criticize you should respect the boys wow rude
    one direction fanbase: alex gaskarth said he didn't like 1D's song what a dumb emo go slit your wrists and kill yourself emo hahAHAHAHAHA
    one direction fanbase: mitch lucker is dead omg hahaha even though this has nothing to do with me and the suicide silence fanbase did nothing to me let's poke fun at his death wow a man with a wife and child and millions of fans is dead that's hysterical because he was such an eMO wow i bet he slit his wrists and killed himself lol lol lol
    seriously i am 100% done with you guys
    stop demanding """respect""" for 1D if you can't even be mature enough to respect another artist's opinion on them or respect a talented musician's death wOW


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