Awesome letters from apartment buildings:
Dear neighbor,
Your car's sound system is amazing. It is so loud and the bass is so rockin' that it actually shakes all of the apartment bulidings in the complex. Awesome! This is exceptionally rad when you pull up at 3:30 in the morning and wake up the entire complex. Wicked Awesome! We are all very impressed with your super cool sound system. Don't even think about turning it down when you pull up to the bulidings you share with hundreds of other people.
-Your envious neighbor
Hey sillies!
I noticed you guys keep forgetting to pick up your dog's poopies so I took it upon myself to bring you some baggies. I assumed you're all out because why else wouldn't you clean up after your dogs? Oh! And also helped you out by dropping all the said poop convieniently in front of your door for easier cleanup.
You're welcome!
Dear Caucasian Neighbor,
Next time you would like to discuss your bigoted fears of "being r.ped by a big black dude when you come home at 3:30 in the morning", please don't do it the hallway within earshot of A Big Black Dude. It would be greatly appreciated if you keep your ignorance within the confines of your own apartment.
Thank you, A Big Black Dude
P.S. You aren't even my type
Good morning!
We hope your exorcism was successful last night. We do ask, as a courtesy to us and the other neighbors on this floor, that you limit expelling demons to Friday or Saturday nights.
Thank you in advance
If you're going to shoot p.rn in the elevator--please clean up after you are done! Thank you, Management
To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and toook my clothes out just to watch yours...
Yeah, you're an a**hole. Unfortunatley for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow.
Any problems? Come see me in 301
Dear neighbors,
I apologize for any "commotion" occuring tonight and every night for the next 3 to 4 weeks. I also apologize for my wide vocab of "slurs" and profanities. You see, I reciently acquired Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. No need to call the cops again.
Sincerely, Your next door neighbor
P.S. Invest in some ear plugs
Dear whoever stole my Amazon package:
I can understand your need for 30 rolls of toilet paper, considering you're a huge a**hole. Enjoy.
Your friendly neighbor
Old Lady,
If I catch you in the act of putting your dog's crap in our cans, I will cut off your head and bold it to the head of my car.
happiest*
theinfinitejar
Hale_Storm18