Antijokes Quotes

DreamLikeReality
posted a quote
October 26, 2013 4:54pm UTC

This is for your Tori10176,
What is the difference between trampolines and babies? ...I take my shoes off before jumping on trampolines.
What is the difference between a nice sports car and a pile of dead people? I don't have a nice sports car in my garage.
What is the difference between babies and my delicates? ...I put my delicates in a littke bag before putting them in the washing machine.
What is the difference between my pet cat and any child I have babysat for? ...My pet cat is still alive.
Ouhh, guys these are all jokes! I have no intent of killing, jumping on, or putting children through washing machines.

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kelly*
posted a quote
August 25, 2013 2:25am UTC

Do you know what's funny?
something you laugh at

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SidewaysJill
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 11:07am UTC

Me: *takes wet hair out of a messy bun*
Me: *stomps into sister's room*
Me: "Why can't my hair always look like this?"
Me: *strikes model pose*
Sister: *straight-facing*
Sister: "'Cause you'd look awful bad."

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absent *
posted a quote
July 16, 2013 3:42am UTC

Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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absent *
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 4:30am UTC

If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45 what does he have left?
Diabetes.
Dave has Diabetes.

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absent *
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 4:27am UTC

Why can't Jimmy ride a bike?
Because Jimmy is a gold fish.

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wannabe
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 3:58pm UTC

What's black, white, and red all over?
A zebra that got mauled by a lion.

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