here
we are
again.
trying
to turn
this
fat to bone.
i forget
each time
the only
thing
that i
lose.
if not
friends
then
brain
cells.
this crass
carelessness.
this
concentrated
distraction.
this scatter
brained
sweaty
nonsense.
i hate it all.
why can't i shrivel
into
bronze
brute strength
and endless
wisdom.
why am i
a dehydrated
version
of my
worst self.
time
keeps
passing
and i
fall
into
the same
cracks.
this stomach
churning.
this
hopelessness.
i've seen
it all
before.
i'm sick of myself but above all
else im sick of disappointing you again.
