i was so sad and angry and tired and all i wanted was to be held but there was nothing but silence and four walls staring at me begrudgingly, saying "it shouldn't be like this, you didn't plan it like this, did you?" and i wanted to crawl into a hole but the floor was too cold so i stayed under the covers and dreamed that i was somewhere warm where none of my problems existed and it was like this that i finally learned how to survive on my own.