"i know you love me," she said
"i know that, but that doesn't override the fact
thst i'm not good enough for you. and i'm not mad at all. i should be, but i'm not. i should be, but i'm not. i don't feel anger, just pain, a lot of pain. you know, you think you can handle it.. you know it's gonna hurt when it's over and you think you're prepared for it but i swear to god nothing prepares y9u for just how much your heart aches in their absence and how you can't sleep because your brain won't turn off, inatead you're kept awake doing nothing but thinking of the colour of their eyes. you think you can cope, but the cold hard truth is, you're wrong. you fall apart and there's nothing you can do to stop that."
-excerpt of a book i'll never write