It was 3 years ago
today,
the
day that we first met. So, I guess I'm going to write another
letter about you on this same website and in this same format
like I've done in previous years. I'm not sure if this
will be my last letter about you, or if there will be many more
to come. I simply cannot determine anything at this point; this
year is going to be different from all the rest. Not only is it
our senior year, but our senior year at a different building, and
thus, we are starting school a week and a half later than we have
the past few years. Therefore, I cannot write about whether I am
glad that we are in the same class again or whether I am upset
that we don't have any classes together, because I don't
know any of that yet. But what I do know is that I still love
you. I still care about you. I still want you. Being
yours is no longer at the top of my wishlist -- there's
something I want now just a little more -- but you still make a
close second. It's been over a year since we've last had
a real conversation, and I do believe I have changed a lot since
then. I often like to think that someday I'll get my
fairytale ending, even though life isn't a fairytale and I
receive the short end of the stick much more often than most.
That doesn't stop me from believing that this year,
"we" just might happen. I just wish you could give me a
chance. Even though you may not have noticed, I have stuck around
while other girls have given up on you. Sometimes I ask myself
why I even still hold on after all this time, but then I remember
how special you made me feel when I had stepped out of hell only
two months prior. I remember how our eyes would lock for a moment
when we'd have those silly fights. I still remember how
you'd refer to me sometimes; the compliments were subtle, but
they were still obvious enough for me to catch. Trying to get
away and get over you was something that I have tried for a long
time, but I know now that I will only waste my time if I try any
more. You'll always be a permanent part of me. You'll
always be my first love. I hope so badly that this year will
finally be my year, that I will finally receive the things
I've been wanting so much for so long but have been turned
down about and hinted to the fact that I do not deserve them.
I'm trying my best. I just wish that one day, very very soon,
my best will be enough. Even if we don't have any classes
together, even if you never love me back, I know I'll always
be there waiting. And until I'm able to find someone else,
it's always going to be you. I know you probably don't
remember anything about this date three years ago, but August 24,
2012 is always going to be special to me. And I hope soon you can
realize why. Cheers to a new school year, class of 2016. I hope
that I can be in your life. I really do. But even if I can't,
I wish you good luck anyway.
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yikes · 8 years ago
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