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Okay Wittians! Here it is! My college essay! I would love love LOVE feedback on it, to know what I should change, if anything. I can't add anything though, because I ran out of available space. The prompt was to choose one word that describes you and to explain why. Please read and give me feedback :)

                Sometimes it may be difficult for others to choose one word that best describes them, but for me, one words come straight to mind. The word I would use is strong. Others may laugh, overlook me, or even think I’m gloating about myself when they hear this is the word I would you, but I assure you, I am being as sincere as possible when using this word. Throughout my parents’ divorce, the many funerals I have attended recently, and my siblings moving away, the one thing I have remained is strong.
                I have been through more terrible situations than most will ever go through in their lifetime, and I’ve done it all while still 16 years old. To start things off, my parents’ divorce was not the most appealing thing to me that has happened in my lifetime. I have lived a childhood full of parent screaming and yelling, arguing constantly, kicking one another out of the house, and much more. I can honestly say there is not one moment in my childhood where I can remember my parents’ being nice to each other. That’s why it came as no surprise when they divorced in the late summer of 2010. Now most people believe that divorce solves the problem, and all the arguments stop after. They believe that people can be happy again once they divorced. Of course, however, this was not the case with my parents. Even living in separate house they still continue to argue all the time, leaving me in the center of most their problems. However, within the midst of all the bickering, I have managed to remain strong.
                Just as many people go to about one funeral every five or more years, I have gone to five funerals in four years. In my high school career alone I have seen the passing of my Grandfather, Great-Grandfather, Uncle Billy, Aunt Mary, and Aunt Ann. It was not until after they were gone did I realize I should have relished every moment I had with them. Whether it was my Grandfather yelling at all us children to shut the door, or my Aunt Mary slipping me a piece of candy behind my Mother’s back, I should have realized that every moment in life is precious and not to be wasted. Eventually when so many people in your family die, like they have in mine, people are in awe at how you can still manage to see the light in spite of so much darkness. However, I just know that if these family members were here, they would want me to be as strong as I can and to remain happy in the midst of all the sadness.
                Just when I thought things in my life could not possibly change anymore, two of my three siblings moved away. Due to the fact that my parents were constantly fighting, my siblings and I have an extremely close bond. That’s why out of everything in my life, them leaving had to be the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. They moved to a different state, where I can only see them once or twice a year. I miss them every single day, and there are times where it’s extremely hard to smile. However, I would never admit this to them. They see me as the strong one; the one who can withstand anything. Sometimes it is very hard to stay strong, but I have to. My siblings understand, however, that I do miss them. We try to talk on the phone as much as possible, but that’s not always easy. There are times where all I need is my sister’s comforting words, or my brother’s corny smile, but they aren’t always able to be there. Out of everything, that’s what was hardest to remain strong through. But, I did it. I stayed strong, and continue to do so every day.
                Furthermore, at the end of the day, I am strong. I’m not ashamed to admit it, either. There are things in life no 16 year old should have to do, that I’ve done. I will admit I am relieved to be turning 17 in the hopes that a new year will bring better, happier, changes. I’m not regretful of the things that have happened in my life. They have taught me to be the best I can be, and to be my absolute strongest in everything bad.
              
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Okay Wittians! Here it is! My college essay! I would love love

4 faves · 2 comments · Nov 17, 2013 9:47pm

ThatLostGirl*

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ThatLostGirl*


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essay · feedback · college · pleaseread · iknowitslong · iwillloveyouforeverifyouwouldjustgivemesomelovelyfeedbackonthisessayiwasforcedtowrite · requests

uthinkuruntouchable · 1 decade ago
sounds great
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angelle* · 1 decade ago
"Others may laugh, overlook me, or even think I’m gloating about myself when they hear this is the word I would you" you might want to fix that to use, if you meant to say use. Wouldn't want to not get into college because you said you instead of use. ^^
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