Girlfriend's Best Friend
CHAPTER 45
x x x
.
I instantly felt like
absolute sh.i.t, knowing one of my best friends was trying to
protect me from a mistake he himself made, but that I would
never be able to stop myself from making.
“I understand that, bro,” was all I could say.
“I was just trying to keep you guys from doing something
you’d both regret, I’m sorry if I acted like a
d.ick. I’m so tired though, I’m going to go to bed,
night guys,” he turned his head and fell asleep.
I looked at Brooke, seeing if she had the same expression on
her face that I did—guilt, embarrassment,
regret—anything that told her this wasn’t a good
idea.
But her expression was unreadable. And ten minutes later, we
were hooking up.
When I kissed her, I couldn’t help but to smile. I
didn’t want to, but how could I not? I felt her smiling
too, but I could feel some kind of hesitation, something
holding her back. Maybe this was it—the moment that
Brooke realized we have to stop. I realized this a long, long
time ago, but I just never could. I’m sure Brooke
realized this too, but I mean maybe she finally
understood it. Maybe she’d tell me this
wasn’t a good idea, that she just made up with Kelli,
that Graham and the rest of our friends would be so
disappointed to find out, and she’d be the one to end
things with me. I wouldn’t have to end things; I
wouldn’t have to hurt her.
Maybe that’s why I stuck around Brooke for so long. I
couldn’t leave someone that broken to fix
themselves. When I was that broken, I had Kelli to help me out.
When Kelli was that broken, she had me to help her out. But
when Brooke was that broken, who was there? But does that
qualify as love?
“Guys,” Graham said, forcing us both to pull up.
“I’m still awake.”
I heard Brooke quietly gasp and she looked at me to say
something, but how was I supposed to explain that?
“Guys, even after what I just said, you’re still
doing this?” he asked, disappointingly. “Do the
other guys know?”
“Yeah, they do but Graham, look, it’s honest to
God, not what it looks like,” I had no idea how I’d
bullsh.it my way through this.
“Then what is it?” he asked. And when I
didn’t have an answer he continued, “I know you
were just making out but bro, that’s still cheating. And
Brooke, you just made up with Kel. Why would you do this again?
The day everything became okay again?”
“Graham, we should be honest with you. It wasn’t
just today that Brooke and I did this again…we’ve
been doing this. Ever since that first time you saw
us. I know we told you it was one time but it
wasn’t…” I tried not to sound so nervous. I
just didn’t want him to think less of me than he had
before he knew. I didn’t want him to think I was
worthless.
He started yelling at me that Kelli was right there and I
yelled at him back to stop talking so loudly. “Of course
I feel bad, Graham. Honestly, nothing against you Brooke, but I
really wish we never started this. I love Kelli but I
can’t stop going back to you. I know we fight a lot now
because of this but the more we’re together, the more
things I find to love about you,” I said. If I
couldn’t bullsh.it my way out with lies, I’d
bullsh.it my way out with the truth.
“If you loved Kelli then you wouldn’t have any
feelings for Brooke,” he said, trying to call me out on
my lies.
“I really love Brooke though,” I lied.
“And that’s the
problem.”
