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When nobody is replying on chat or to texts
Me: So Mr Tiddles it seems like we are alone again.
Me: *puts sock on hand and makes it talk* Not again.
Me: How are you Mr Tiddles?
Mr Tiddles: Im okay. Your feet smell and its hard to breath down there but M fine. How are you?
Me: Im good thAnks!
Me and Mr Tiddles: *continues conversation for 10 minutes*
Me: Oh look someone replied!!
Mr Tiddles: Awwwh you're pitching me again :(
Me: *starts putting sock back on*
Mr Tiddles: No not the foot not the foot! It stinks! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

What the hell is wrong with me?

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