Everything feel like is leading me off the edge
Please read if you would like too.
if not then its alright, you have better things
to do then looking at this quote.

- outcast in high school:
no body ever talk to me, whether I go to school
with full of happiness and smiley face on the outside,
but on the inside, I dont know what world I am in.
For the most part I was just being myself throughout
the day even tho a lots of people dont talk to me.They
all completely ignored me or just make fun of me

- addiction to p.or.no.graphy
during 7th grade I was being bullied by my friend.
I kinda was mentally retarded cause I didn't know
a lots of things. So I guess my friend turn against
on me. They asked me if I ever gave a bl.ow job to
my brother. Sadly I said "yes," and they started
laughing at me all year long. I started asking people
what did it mean. They all laughed at me. So about
week later, I was mostly in my room and became
addicted to p.or.no.graphy. Ever since then I still
have that addiction going on today. Its sucks and
its totally ruin my entire life.

- being disability person
I have had my hearing aids since I was 3 years old.
I hate it so much. Wherever I go. At some point of
the day I will be made fun of. One day in grade
school. I felt like a complete mentally ret.ard kid.
Because they would give me a sign where they
are acting like complete ret.ard people do. I didnt
know what they were doing and told me to do it,
so I decide to do it in my daily basis. They all laughed
at me because I kept doing it and I felt like a complete
loser during the 7th grade years.

- I really dont know if I am gay or not
Most of the time I would do what girl would do. I usually
cross my leg what girls would do. I usually touch boys
on the shoulder. I usually touch more guys than girls at
school. Yeah i know, but its just me. I dont usually get
a lots of hugs from girls. So I have never experiences
with anything with a girl. The farthest I went with a girl
was a 2 seconds hug. The farthest I went with a boy was
about 3 minutes hug. My favorite color is pink. My favorite
artist are Justin Bieber, Adam Levine, Hunter Hayes, and
my favorite band is One Direction. I do have a 1D One Direction
shirt. I love almost of the chick flicks movies. So I dont know
if this make me gay or not.

- my weight
I usually am the most hungriest kid in the grade, Everytime
in lunch I usually take 3 chicken patty, or 3 McRib sandwiches,
have 10 chicken fingers. One time I had a McRib sandwich and
Foot long Subway sandwich and I was hungry for more. Other time I had a 2 7-layers burritoes and 2 soft shell taco supreme
tacos. I was still hungry at the time. But what sucks the most
I never gain any weight. This weight is just a failure. I wish I never had "Fast Metabolism" in my life. I can never join the dream of my life "United States Marine Corps" because I am too weak to join and I am still at the weight of 110 lbs when I eat all of these foods.

- get a lots of suicidal thoughts
I am always in my room everyday from 3-till I go to sleep when I get home from school. Most of the time I never hear what my parents are talking to me. I usually never had dinner at night because I am always in my room. I never get out. I usually dont eat anything since my door is always lock up. All I do is sit in my room and do nothing. I literally shut the whole world around me. All I can hear is music playing through my computer, and iPhone and sometime iPad 2. I usually talk a lot of the internet people because I need someone to talk too when I have no one to talk to me. When I am in my room, I usually have suicidal thoughts because I always asked myself "why am I here."

- Sometime I just want to run away
I just dont know what direction I would take if I run away. I dont know who would be there for me. I dont know who would look out and find me. I dont know where I would be staying. I dont know if I was going to make longer if I ran away somewhere. I dont know if I would have any supports from the strangers. I would be afraid that I wouldnt have anything to drink or eat. I dont know what place I would be going to. I dont know why I am living in this place where I am completely outcast except Wednesday Youth Group. Since I wont be able to go there anymore due to my volleyball game. I can only go to the Youth Group if I had late night game. Sometime I tried too much to live on for, but I cant just make it there like everybody else can. Yesterday night I did
bad during my game but we still had 2-1 record during my first game of the season. But after the game, I almost decide to give up and drive to the biggest tree I can find. I found one, but I decide to pass the tree and still be here today.

I know I cant give up on anything. I just need to be stronger than who I am and live through everything I can even if I am the most stupidest person in the world.

I just want a tattoo saying these Six Words:
"I Am Here For a Reason"

If you wanna talk
here is my kik: TopNotch98
or comment on my profile

Thanks for reading this

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Everything feel like is leading me off the edge Please read if

51 faves · 10 comments · May 2, 2013 11:07pm

chasingsunshine · 1 decade ago
Hey (: I just wanted to say that I truly admire you.. Just reading your quotes can show me how strong you are as a person, because it takes a lot of courage to be going through that and not have given up yet.. But please, never give up. You are worth so much to so many people, that if you ran away, or acted upon your suicidal thoughts, they would be heartbroken. So many people love you and care about you, it's unreal. You tell yourself that you can't give up on anything, and you're absolutely right. Not for anyone else, though. For you. Because you deserve a life and you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. It's horrible that you feel like you're an outcast at school, but there are ways to get around this.. Why don't you try doing some extra-curricular activities that you enjoy and you might meet some people there that share the same interests as you? Talk to new people and mix with different groups, or if not, you know you have all of us on Witty when you get back home (: And if they're horrible to you about your hearing, they're not worth it; leave them. They don't deserve to be friends with an amazing person like you. Also, everybody has a guilty addiction, but we need to work to get through it and come out fighting. You can overcome your addiction, I believe in you. About your sexuality, trust me, it doesn't matter whether you know right now or not. The people that mind about your sexuality don't matter and aren't important in your life, and the ones that do matter, won't judge you. You will find someone soon that you will love, and then you'll know. All those things don't necessarily mean you're gay. So I guess my point to all that was what you summed up so nicely in your six words: "You are here for a reason." You have purpose and you are on this Earth because of it. Every time you doubt that, put your hand over your heart and feel it beating. Think about every single reason why you held on so long, including small things like chick flicks and the US Marine Corps (which, by the way, you are not too weak for; if you want it that badly and if you work hard to get it, I on't for a second doubt that you'll be able to join). Think about every little thing you love. Thing about everything you have achieved. Think about everything you haven't achieved yet, and would love to one day. They are your reasons to stay.
0 reply

WPiC123 · 1 decade ago
your amazing being able to deal with this crap.... mostpeople at your piont would ve given up. keep it up:)
0 reply

NyanCah · 1 decade ago
you give me hope :)
0 reply

Rainbow185 · 1 decade ago
You are so strong and inspiring, I admire your courage. "I Am Here For a Reason" Yes you are, make your life the fullest and don't let bullies crush your life.
0 reply

dapz95 · 1 decade ago
just like you said, 'you are here for a reason'. Everyone feels like this at some poin in thier life: you've been through a lot of stuff, but you're not completely alone. Suffering is the same, regardles of the experience.
All you have to do now is go out there and find the reason you are here. if you search hard enough, I guarantee you will find it.
The biggest thing I admrie about that long list was the fact that you haven't killed yourself yet. Do you know how hard it is to persuade yourself to live when you have nothing left to live for? It's the most painful thign in the world. And the fact you did that, and you still are doing that, not for yourself but because you have convinced yourself there is something worth living for even if you haven't found it yet, makes me want to salute you. tILL the end of time.
If I could find my reason, I'll bet you can find yours. Take your time: life is a gift. One day, you'll find a way to appreciate it again.
I promise.
Take care dude ... i love you :) x
0 reply

Too_Many_Secrets · 1 decade ago
I'm in relatively the same ballpark as you
For some reason I still don't know of, I have a hard time distinguishing words. My hearing's supposed to be normal, but I have to have people repeat what they just said over and over again for me to understand them. It's really embarrassing to always be asking, "what?" or "sorry can you say that again?" ALL DAY LONG, Sometimes people get mad at me for asking so many times, think I'm messing with them and doing this purpose, and just say "forget it", "nevermind", or whatever else and just walk away.
With not knowing what sexual orientation you are, don't worry too much about it, I went through exactly the same thing. Eventually you'll find someone who truly makes you happy. It doesn't matter what gender they are. If you love them, then just go with it ;) I still don't know what exactly I am, I'm just going to wait for the right person to come along.
I have a bad weight problem. I'm always hungry, and I eat when I'm sad, happy, stressed, bored, basically any emotion screams at me to eat. I'm overweight, and I lie to people about how much I really weigh. I sued to be very fast and athletic, now I have joint problems and can't run nearly as well as I used to. It really holds me back
Every single day I think about wanting to go to sleep and never wake up, or just ending it all.
I had plans for 3 years to just run away and never be found. I still think of it now. But, like you, I don't know how I'd manage,

You're not alone. There must be other people out there just like you and me going through the same things. But it will get better. I find that school is a lot of the problem, at least for me. As soon as you graduate or finish the year, that's your chance to recover and make progress. Take advantage of it.
0 reply

Travis Allred* · 1 decade ago
Yeah true. it's sucks that I have to keep repeating. Copy this comment cause I'm gonna delete the quote and put it during the day so people can see it
0 reply

Too_Many_Secrets · 1 decade ago
ok. Shall I post it to your profile and then repost it here once you put up this quote again?
0 reply

ilovesoccer21 · 1 decade ago
You are so strong. I can tell by just reading this about you, and I greatly admire that. Every rose has its thorns, but every flower has its beauty
0 reply

Travis Allred* · 1 decade ago
Thanks you for the comment
0 reply

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Everything feel like is leading me off the edge Please read if

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