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Me: ok its time i go on a diet
Me: ill just eat this whole salad
Me: oh wow, im so full
Me: im f*cking starving
Me: ill drink this giant glass of water
Me: wow soo full
Me: maybe just a few peanuts
Me: or a few more
Me: or the whole bag
Me: im going to mcdonalds
Me: can i have 6 cheeseburgers
Me: 9 large fries
Me: a coke
Me: ..and a salad...
Me: that evens it out
Me: these are for my kids...
Me: i dont even have kids
Me: maybe if i drive slowly they wont see me eating
Me: ill start my diet tommorrow

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