Demi is my idol so this is why I want to write this.

 Ever since i was little I was never really happy with the way I looked. I used to be a little bigger then most of the girls in my class so I felt fat. I remember that I would stand in the mirror and look at myself and pointing out everything I hate. But over all I was a pretty happy child. I looked the same as everyone else and acted the same. In about 5th grade  my parents started fighting a lot. I started dressing different from everyone else in 5th and they called me "emo" . My friends rejected me because they said I changed to munch . This is when I became depressed. I stopped laughing and smiling all the time. I was just an unhappy child. My parents fighting made it worse on me because sometimes it would be about me and my siblings. Then began middle school...6th grade had to be one of the worst years of my life. I became very depressed I got called emo,ugly,goth and more. I wasn't happy one day and I trusted no one. My "best friend" started calling me emo like everyone else. So I found new friends that are still my best friends till this day. That summer I stopped eating because I didn't feel good enough for anyone because I thought I was fat. I needed to find ways to cope with my pain so I stopped eating and I tried hurting myself. I stayed up all night and slept all day. I made sure I didn't eat a lot because if I did I would throw it up. 7th grade wasn't really that different besides that me and my friends got closer. I still got called names and I couldn't take it anymore.I started hurting myself to make myself feel better....and it worked. I loved that it made me feel better but I hated hiding the cuts and scars from people. I tired killing 3 or 4 times that year but it never worked. I felt trapped . I thought no one cared about and no one would miss me. But I stopped cutting for a while because I started getting happier but of course the depression started again. And now this year the depression hasn't gotten much better and I no longer cut but I want to most of the time. I still feel ugly and fat . It's hard eating food for me because if I eat I think it's just going to make me fat right away. My depression has drove me to the point where I cant take it anymore. I thought I was going insane . But I am dealing with it. My friends have helped me through a lot and i'm so thankful for all of them because honestly if I didn't meet them I probably wouldn't be here