the only thing i'm really hoping for
this school year is to not be as lonely as i was these past two years. all the schoolwork, all, all the boy issues, and all the problems with myself, they'll be hard too; but i know i can deal with them. i just don't want to spend this year alone. i don't want to have to sit alone at the cafeteria table. i don't want to 95% of the time have to work with a stranger when the teacher asks us to pair up. i don't want to feel lonely on weekends or avoid social media due to being triggered by everyone having fun without me. i don't want to have to skip school events as simple as field trips or as big as prom because i don't even have any friends to go with. i hate it when other people casually say the phrase "i have no friends", because i feel as though they're only saying that because that's what they feel, but it isn't the actual truth. they don't legitimately know what it feels like to have zero friends, and that's what bothers me. the years that are supposed to be the "best years of my life" i have spent being lonely and wishing i had more of a social life more often than not. i don't want to waste any more time being so unhappy. so i'm hoping this will be my year; i'm hoping this will finally be my time to shine. this is my last year of high school, and i have also heard many people say that "it gets better after high school", and that's great, but i want it to get better as soon as possible. i've been suffering too hard and for too long, and i want this year to be the year that it will finally stop, and i can finally start living my life the way i wish to.
DieiSomnians
ThnksfrthMizBiz
gab*