So, I guess I am saying what I want to say. I'm jealous of everyone. My mom means the world to me and I lie to her to make her feel better. How does that work? If she doesn't know I have anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts or that I cut myself what would she have to worry about? Why should I worry about myself? My friends are more impartant than me. More people love them. Its true, We would be waking down the halls and everyone would stop them to talk. Me? They introduced me to a friend once........I dont think they liked my shell. My protection. What keeps me alive. If I talked to everyone someone would hate me and do something drastic to make me kill myself, if they dont know I exist I can be happy. Its true. Im happy being a nobody. The anti-social kid. No one wil know my secrets, that im bi, even though I came out two years ago...I guess I am meant for the closet. Is that bad? I really need to know. I mean, so many people say that gays are wrong, why get more hate? You keep just keep all these things your dirty little secrets.