Chapeter 1; People Keep So Much Inside:
Life’s too short to even care at all. Life is just too short to care about the drama, the stupid relationships, & the daily liars you’ll come across. I find it kind of funny that people say be yourself, than they judge you. I think the worst feeling in the world is where the pain is so bad where you can’t cry. All your emotions are just locked in your head, kicking & screaming trying to get out. But look, the door is locked & so is the happiness and love you once felt. I’m trapped in my own mind. Trapped with the thought of my many flaws, & trapped with the thought of not being ‘good enough’.
You can’t start the next chapter in your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. I think that is my biggest problem. I’m judged by my past, so I’ve decided to live there. No tomorrow. I go to sleep thinking of you. I wake up thinking of you. Whatever I do, I think of you. I just can’t seem to get you out of my mind. But growing up won’t bring us down. In the end, we just regret the chances we didn’t take. If I don’t fight for what I want, I can’t cry for what I lost.
Sometimes I wonder why things happened the way they did. I’m not mad about it, I’m hurt. There’s a difference. I think I’m just tired; of people; of school; of life. I just want someone who’s not ashamed to be with me. That’s the one who I want to be with; someone who doesn’t care what other people have to say about us. Someone who would be proud to be with me instead of hiding me to other people. They say never to give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about. But what if that someone already has given up on you? I guess it’s just the matter of how far you will go if you really love someone. People keep so much inside.
abkamel*
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