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xxStandingAlonexx

1. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   June 21, 2012 5:54am UTC
   i stood there...
   i have been standing strong for nearly a week
   i never knew how tough it would be to have a boyfriend
   how hard it would be to stand tall
   to not cry
   to have to smile when im about to burst into tears
   to put up with my mum cutting into me
   as well as a depressed boyfriend that i cant say anything bad or he will get misserable
   i cant ever dump him
   like i ilove him and i dont want to
   but what if i did?
   i wouldnt anyway
   even if i only liked him as a friend
   i would still act like i loved him
   because he said he wouldnt last a week without me
   he would die without me
   tbh i know he would
   he doesnt mean to tell me
   he says it in affection
   but tbh im scared
   i cant even stand myself tall
   and yet im trying to hold him up as well
   i have no time for myself
   he is always on my mind
   im always worried about
   im breaking
   more than ever
   but i have started masking people again
   but this time i am masking myself until i get home into bed
   then no one will know
   no one can tell
   i wish i could kill myself
   nmf
   
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2. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   June 13, 2012 4:49am UTC
   i love you with all my heart and soul...
   so why would you even plan to leave me
   plan to kill yourself
   im not that bad
   i try to help
   i love you
   cant you see that
   nmf
   
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3. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   June 12, 2012 12:00am UTC
   the real you
   Chapter 5
   hello girls and boys
   this one is about anorexia
   as this affects both boys and girls
   what is anorexia?!
   well one website states it simply as:
   Anorexia nervosa, commonly referred to simply as anorexia, is one type of eating disorder. More importantly, it is also a psychological disorder. Anorexia is a condition that goes beyond concern about obesity or out-of-control dieting. A person with anorexia often initially begins dieting to lose weight. Over time, the weight loss becomes a sign of mastery and control. The drive to become thinner is actually secondary to concerns about control and/or fears relating to one's body. The individual continues the ongoing cycle of restrictive eating, often accompanied by other behaviors such as excessive exercising or the overuse of diet pills to induce loss of appetite, and/or diuretics, laxatives, or enemas in order to reduce body weight, often to a point close to starvation in order to feel a sense of control over his or her body. This cycle becomes an obsession and, in this way, is similar to an addiction.
   now some of you reading this may say 'well this isnt what it is' because you may have it.
   i for one hate being told what i have when i already know and people explain it wrong.
   some of you may think ayy i just want to lose weight. no biggy i just want to lose this bit of fat over here *grabs a piece of skin* see?! well to be honest girls this isnt actually bad. girls need this in order to have kids and i know for a fact that it doesnt go away no matter how much weight you lose.
   and for boys. if your reading this and at the moment you may think that you are fat and need to lose weight. a strong tip is that if you have a big stomach then you can keep trying if you want but dont go to the point where you are so hungry that you may pass out. eat in moderation.
   for both you girls and boys i tell you please if you even have a slight thought that you may have this please tell someone. i know from experience that this is quite difficult but you will get through it.
   getting over anorexia was the best thing to ever happen to me. am i confident about my body? haha no not at all. im a girl that wants to have the perfect body. im still on my way.
   see i still have parts of me that think like someone with anorexia but i eat. alot....probably to much. but the thing is im not fat, or chubby, i am skinny but i have to go off what people say because in my eyes i am a fat girl since birth.
   i was born as a small skinny baby? i dont care i still see it as fat. but over treatment this feeling will soon go.
   if your not confident enough to tell your parents then tell the school councilor. or maybe a close friend. someone you can trust. or even me.
   if you want to lose weight come and talk to me and i will help you the right way.
   if you want anymore information about this come and talk to me. or email me on livits97@gmail.com and i will be glad to help you.
   stay safe
   stay strong
   i love you guys
   xxxxxxxxxxxx
   i will always be here to help you girls if you want it ♥
   
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4. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   June 4, 2012 2:30am UTC
   the real you
   Chapter 4
   hello all you beautiful girls
   ok girls this topic is about depression
   now some of you girls may say that isnt me. it wouldnt be you
   or maybe some of you may say...well would that be me?
   well it is rather hard to diagnose depression in yourself, even some profesionals find it hard to diagnose.
   i would like you to see something
   these are some symptoms if you would like so see if you have it
   - feeling hopeless, like there's nothing to look forward to;
   - not be interested in anything, because nothing seems fun anymore;
   - having no energy;
   - crying and not know why your crying;
   - feeling lonely or unloved;
   - not wanting to be with other people;
   - feeling anxious, grumpy or bad tempered;
   - feeling empty or numb;
   - wanting to do nothing but sleep, or be unable to sleep;
   - geting headaches or stomach aches;
   - not eating and losing weight, or eating much more than usual;
   - being reckless or take unnecessary risks;
   - useing more, or starting to use, drugs, including alcohol or tobacco;
   - thinking of death or suicide.
   girls these are some symptoms
   this is a serious condition and if you have some of these, i would like to either contact me or tell your parents or friends or a trusted adult. i know this is hard. i have had it...i still do but im getting over it.
   Depression can happen for several reasons:
   - sometimes there is a genetic risk for depression (other people in the family may have had it);
   - sometimes there is a trigger, a stressful event or chain of events, like a family break-up, child abuse, ongoing bullying at school, the death of a friend or family member, a relationship break-up, family conflict, sexual abuse, or several of these things happening close together;
   - some women become depressed after they have a baby (post natal depression);
   - sometimes it is not clear what has triggered depression
   please girls this is very serious.
   if you want to talk about it i am here.
   thankyou for reading
   stay safe
   stay strong
   and if you have any questions i am here for you.
   i will always be here to help you girls if you want it ♥
   
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5. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   May 30, 2012 11:52pm UTC
   the real you
   Chapter 3
   hello all you beautiful girls
   im sorry this one was going to be on inner beauty but i have seen something about suicide and cutting and i think this is something that must be covered
   okay so what is your definition of self harm?
   this is what a profesional sight states as self harm:
   Self-harming is when people cause themselves physical pain that alters their mood state (how they feel inside). Some people harm themselves because they feel disconnected and isolated from everybody, and hurting themselves is the only way they feel real or connected.
   Self-harming behaviours can include:
   cutting their skin with knives or any sharp object burning their skin hitting their body with an object or fists (like punching the wall) deliberately falling when doing something like extreme sports picking at their skin swallowing pills or sharp objects pulling at their hair (hair pulling can also be a habit).
   Eating disorders, alcohol and drug addiction are other ways that people harm themselves physically and mentally.
   but as many would know it is not that simple.
   self harming can be to make their feelings shown as they know no other way to express them. my reason was because i wanted to release my pain, anger and sadness by cutting through to it. and feeling quite happy after it...
   for others it may be to get people to see how they are suffering...
   and for others it is to release a pain that has built up
   now i know that the feeling for some is painful but for others is it a happy feeling.. i am one that felt happiness.
   but let me tell you, this will consume you
   from experience, you will get to a point when you will experience cravings that you have never felt and you will not know what it is or where it has come from but you will crave that cutting or burning...
   sometimes it takes good friends to make this issue aware to a teacher, family member or just someone that can help. in my case it was my mother who saw what i had done and now i go through weekly counciling. but i am not ashamed. this is helping me see the real me and what i can do to manage that pain and anger.
   but girls i would like to ask you something.
   when you are older and you have children. and they see your arms and they ask what they are...what will you tell them?
   i hope this has raised some awareness for some of you girls
   i love you all
   stay safe and stay strong
   i will always be here to help you girls if you want it ♥
   
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6. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   May 30, 2012 11:02pm UTC
   the real you
   Chapter 2
   hello again
   ok so i have chosen a topic. lets work on the image of yourself. as reasons that girls cake on make up is either because they try to hide themselfs or they think that they are ugly. so here it is...
   you know that you are beautiful
   beauty in this world is that is on the outside
   yes boys look at that but not boys that are worth your time
   boys that are worth you will KNOW that you are beautiful on both the inside and out.
   look at yourself
   look in the mirror
   ...
   what do you see??
   now write it down
   yes there will be tears shed while you do this but it is worth it
   .
   .
   .
   .
   you done?
   ok so your done?!
   what dont you like about youself physically?
   i bet fat and ugly came up... am i right?
   i know when i did this they both came up
   now read what you wrote over and over
   now go onto google and look up megan fox
   she is beautiful isnt she
   yea well she used to get bullied
   as did
   robert pattinson
   sandra bullock
   tom cruise
   miley cyrus
   christina aguilera
   demi lovato
   kate winslet
   kristen stewart
   lady gaga
   brian mcfadden
   rihanna
   victoria beckham
   jessica simpson
   taylor swift
   taylor lautner
   justin timberlake
   kate middleton
   daniel radcliffe
   eminem
   and they have all made it in life
   they are beautiful/handsome men and women
   so never have any doubts about yourself
   no body is perfect.
   not you
   not me
   no one
   but i'll tell you one thing that i am certain of
   you are beautiful
   all of you
   no matter what
   no one can ever change my mind about that
   i love you all beautiful girls
   the next one will be on inner beauty
   i will always be here to help you girls if you want it ♥
   
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7. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   May 30, 2012 10:13pm UTC
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8. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   May 27, 2012 10:11pm UTC
   so my own family doesnt love me
   ♥
   i dont fit in and they always look at me with discust and latelly they dont want anything to do with me. im just different so stop treating me like i have no feelings
   ♥
   
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9. xxStandingAlonexx
   posted a quote
   May 24, 2012 10:24pm UTC
   dont give in
   ♥
   let the games begin
   ♥
   
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10. xxStandingAlonexx
    posted a quote
    May 24, 2012 4:01am UTC
    so i have been trying to go healthy...
    ♥
    and i have been craving chocolate
    why chocolate must i love you so
    ♥
    
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