usagainsttheworld's Favorites

yourcool
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 6:07pm UTC

i wanna be hot enough to
make people question their se/ual orientation.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 144 points

yourcool
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 6:28pm UTC

imagine a library filled with every book in the world,
none of them have titles on the cover and the pages are blank, but when you open one you are instantly transported to the world within the book. you get to live in the story as any character for as long as you like. and when you come out of the story, almost no time has passed in the real world.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 537 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 6:03pm UTC

Argument I heard on the bus:
Guy 1: No, man, gay bros can raise babies. Look at warthog motherf//cker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And Simba became king of motherf//cking Africa.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 659 points

yourcool
posted a quote
February 12, 2013 3:40pm UTC

you're about eight beers away
from being exactly my type of guy.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 149 points

Emilycullen
posted a quote
February 13, 2013 2:49pm UTC

me and my imaginary boyfriend are going to have a great valentines

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 669 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 2:36pm UTC

My Teacher: I don't know what's wrong with this class. Everyone did terrbible on the exam.
Me: Oh, there's nothing wrong with the class. It's you, honey.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 360 points

BlackButterflies
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 8:25pm UTC

oh my god guys i'm in a cafe on my own and this massive group of popular guys i know just walked in
i could say hi but im sitting at a table with a laptop and a plate of food the size of asia
i'm actually making a quote just so i look like i'm doing something, not just sitting here a loser. because i am sitting here like a loser
one of them's walking over in my direction help abort mission abort mission
...
...
he said hey and i was too socially awkward to admit i'm here alone so i said my friends are in the bathroom
which they're not.
because they don't exist.
because they're not real.
i can't just walk out now that'd be too obvious
please tell me they're getting coffee to go or something
JESUS THEY GOT A TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO MINE
WHY IS MY LIFE THE WAY MY LIFE IS
i need to leave right now before they realise i lied about the friends
but i have a coffee
and it's caramel flavoured
and also i have a pie and some chocolate cake
don't judge me, i eat like twelve grown men
why do bad things happen to good people?
maybe i could take the coffee and leave?
...no it's not takeaway so I'd get arrested for stealing the cup
help help help help help
i wish i could make TARDIS noises and disappear but no
i'm not a time machine
i wish i was a time machine.
abort abort abort

👍 this is good · read the comments · 895 points

absofreekinlutelywitty7
posted a quote
January 29, 2013 7:30pm UTC

Person: *Cuts me in lunch line*
Me: Aca-scuse me?
Person: Oh, sorry.
Me: Thats what I thought you said.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 81 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 7:07pm UTC

no no i'm saying you can find
other people attractive, but you have to
find me the most attractive.
O_O
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 179 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:50pm UTC

i disagree
with the female reproductive system
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 241 points

ShortGirlsDoItBetter
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:52pm UTC

I wish we could bang
Wait I meant hang
... No I meant bang
Welcome to my awkward texting life.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 292 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 297 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:29pm UTC

friend:
if you're procrastinating and
you know it clap your hands
me:
ill clap later
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 389 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 16, 2013 6:57pm UTC

normal person: sings lyrics
me: sings lyrics
sings backup vocals
sings guitar riffs
air-drums entire song
headbangs
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

👍 this is good · read the comments · 737 points

sammy*
posted a quote
January 9, 2013 4:48pm UTC

I would rather...
have a boyfriend who's dorky but a total sweatheart,
than a really hot guy who is a player and flirts with every girl.
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5

👍 this is good · read the comments · 528 points

伤*
posted a quote
January 6, 2013 4:00pm UTC

click to see this quote

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 4, 2013 6:38pm UTC

some of you are actually really attractive.
like wtf are you doing on the internet bro?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 877 points

jimmy365
posted a quote
January 3, 2013 8:31pm UTC

✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼
rapunzel
was locked in a tower for 18 years and
even she can flirt what is wrong with me
✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼ ✼

👍 this is good · read the comments · 417 points

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