Witty Profiles

melaynay34162

1. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   February 12, 2012 5:13pm UTC
   Yesterday i brought home my boyfriend for the first time for dinner. this is how it went.
   *boyfriend walks through the door*
   dad:you get her pregnant ill kill you.
   me: dad!!!!
   him: no its ok its ok. hello sir, i wont i have no intention of it.
   *mom and brother come in*
   mom:hello!
   him: why hello! i see where your daughter gets her good looks!
   brother: did you just call my mom hot?
   dad: watch it!
   him:no no i wa--
   dad: leave son.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
2. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   January 16, 2012 5:35pm UTC
   epic gLee quote#6
   Mike's dad: Haravard University that is where my son belongs.
   Principle Figgins: But what makes you think he is on drugs? He is one of our best students!
   Mikes dad: My son got an A- on his chemistry test. An A- is an Asian F.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
3. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   January 16, 2012 5:27pm UTC
   *Tips to lose weight*
   Turn your head to the left, then to the right. Repeat this excersice everytime you are offered to eat something.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
4. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   October 30, 2011 10:20pm UTC
   not having the balls to watch a scary movie in the dark.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
5. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   October 29, 2011 11:10pm UTC
   the awkward moment when you and your teacher reach for the same bra at victoria's secret.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
6. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   October 29, 2011 11:07pm UTC
   the awkward moment when you and your teacher reach for the same bra and victoria's secret.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
7. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   October 16, 2011 8:29pm UTC
   Me: oh i see our butt crack.
   Friend: oh really where!
   Me: .... where else....
   Friend: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!
   fRIENDS<3
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
8. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   October 16, 2011 8:27pm UTC
   *at the movies*
   Me: hey eat the popcorn.
   Friend: (whispers) nnaa lets just throw it at people.
   me: kk
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
9. melaynay34162
   posted a quote
   September 21, 2011 9:52pm UTC
   Fave for
   !DANCE MOMS!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
10. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 18, 2011 7:59pm UTC
    My friends sister ate her moms make-up,
    and said
    "mommy i just wanted to be beautiful on the inside."
    fav if you think this kinda like cutee
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
11. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 18, 2011 7:59pm UTC
    My friends sister ate her moms make-up,
    and said
    "mommy i just wanted to be beautiful on the inside."
    fav if you think this kinda like cutee
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
12. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 15, 2011 2:53pm UTC
    how do you manage to drop your phone in the toilet mom?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
13. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2011 11:29pm UTC
    DID YOU KNOW?
    Did you know if you say the alphabet without moving your tongue or lips,
    every letter will sound the same??
    Fave if you tried it lol.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
14. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2011 11:24pm UTC
    Sickened in the sun,
    you dare tell me you love me.
    But you held me down and screamed,
    you wanted me to die!
    Honey you know, you know, I'd never hurt you that way.
    I'll make my own way without your senseless,
    hate, hate, hate, hate.
    So run! run! run!
    Hate me,
    if it feels good.
    And I've found my way out,
    and you'll never hurt me again.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
15. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2011 11:13pm UTC
    Fave if you hate it when you say shut up to a guy and all they do is say shut up in a higher voice.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
16. melaynay34162
    posted a quote
    September 6, 2011 11:09pm UTC
    Who else sits in their towel cuz theyr too lazy to get dressed?
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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