leeuumm's Quotes

leeuumm
posted a quote
October 2, 2012 3:04pm UTC

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leeuumm
posted a quote
October 1, 2012 3:36pm UTC

A man's favorite button on the computer:
"Delete History"
thank you jesus

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leeuumm
posted a quote
September 21, 2012 5:19pm UTC

dear hamburger
i just want your soft big buns in my mouth and your juicy meat i cant wait to eat you out
highlight

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leeuumm
posted a quote
September 21, 2012 4:48pm UTC

Dad: my friend tried having a baby for 3 years
Me: yea
Dad: you were easy to make
Me: i never realized how cool the ceiling was until now

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leeuumm
posted a quote
September 2, 2012 7:11pm UTC

*in the store with 5 year old cousin*
Me: *looking at something*
Cousin: can we get jelly so we can make sandwiches when we get to your house?!
Me: *looks over and reads it and says jelly lube*
Me: *wide eyes* no thats a different kind of jelly

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 29, 2012 10:21pm UTC

My song comes on (tyga)
Me: *blasts music*
Dad: *doesn't care*
Sister's song comes on (justin beaver)
Sister: *blasts it*
Dad: I CANT CONCENTRATE ON THE ROAD WHEN I DONT LIKE A SONG TURN IT DOWN!
win

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 22, 2012 11:41am UTC

You know your obsessed with cars when.. #2
Friend: i got new shoes
Me: what make?

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 17, 2012 9:53pm UTC

Friend: theres nothing to eat.
Me: *sees table covered with everything you can think of*
My house
Me: there's nothing to eat.
*cabinets are filled with expired, stale food*

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 8:18pm UTC

You know your obsessed with cars when.. #1
Mom: they gave me chocolate icecream instead of mint chocolate..
Me: GO TRADE IT IN!

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 15, 2012 2:07pm UTC

Dad: liam come over here
Me: *walks over*
Dad: look at this hummingbird its cute
Bird: *flies away*
Dad: NOOOO IT FLEW AWAY! ..that was cute.
Me: *walks away*

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 10, 2012 11:39am UTC

My dad has one of the hardest, toughest jobs in the world,
driving 18 wheelers. If it weren't for him, you wouldn't have food
in the grocery stores. He mostly lives on the road, so I hardly
get to see him. All the food in your house was brought by
millions of truckers who sacrifice their lives every day.

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 8, 2012 1:36pm UTC

Dad: *calling from moms phone* hey i left my phone home.. its right behind you
Me: *looks behind me* *phone is there* *holy f*ck how does he know im in his room and where i am*

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 5, 2012 12:40am UTC

Radio: *playing drank in my cup by kirko bangz*
Me: this is my jammm
Mom: WHAT IS THIS JUSTIN BIEBAH?

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:27pm UTC

Spaghettio's
Sliced Franks,
aka human wet cat food.

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 9:19pm UTC

Me: *gasp*
Mom: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?
Me: CADILLAC CTS 4 COUPE!!!!
Mom: oh my god your acting like someone died!

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leeuumm
posted a quote
August 3, 2012 6:16pm UTC

Doctor: *putting bandaid on my arm*
Mom: those are some fancy bandaids.
mom please dont talk like that in public again

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leeuumm
posted a quote
July 30, 2012 10:30pm UTC

Grandma: do you do drugs?
Sister (18): i haven't dated one guy or drank. do you think i do drugs?**
*she chooses not to date

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leeuumm
posted a quote
July 29, 2012 1:02am UTC

Mom: liam, its 1 am go to bed.
Me: its 12:58 ;)
I win.

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leeuumm
posted a quote
July 27, 2012 5:43pm UTC

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lux3qfjjCy1qfi8zgo1_500.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7re2rGrr61rq4lc6o2_250.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5veisL9W81qfwn9co1_500.jpg

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leeuumm
posted a quote
July 22, 2012 12:19pm UTC

Dad: I'M FADED, FADED, FADED. I'M FADED, FADED, FADED.
Me: ..and i dont give a f*ck.

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