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lady_red

luceclark
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 6:04pm UTC

*Seeing a hot guy*
Me - Oh God he is hot, please have my babies
Best Friend - Wait a sec, I got this
Best Friend - OI YOU WITH THE HOT FACE
Hot Guy - *Turns Around*
Best Friend - THIS KID WILL HAPPILY TAKE YOUR KIDS, CALL HER
Me -
Best Friend - Told you I got this
This is why I love my best friend

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1286 points

ImOnlyATeen
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:14pm UTC

me: why are those guys staring at me?
me:is there something on my face?
me:is there something on my shirt?
me:they're probably laughing at how ugly i am.
me:they probably find it amusing how fat i am.
friend:maybe they think you're cute.
me:are you stupid or something?
tumblr.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2205 points

str0ng
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:03pm UTC

OMG, Witty just changed!
Rest In Peace, Old Witty.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 704 points

tibbsxoxo
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 4:04pm UTC

Teacher: The test is very easy.
Me: Sure it is bit.ch, you already know the answers.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1188 points

kylaz323
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 11:13am UTC

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you(:
Awwww<3
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head(;

👍 this is good · read the comments · 712 points

LandonIsWitty
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 7:34pm UTC

Me in the shower:
Me: *turns water on*
Me: *grabs phone*
Me: *sits in the bathroom on witty for 7 minutes*
Me: *checks time*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh chiz
Me: *gets in shower*
Me: HOLY JEEEEZEZ OHMYGAWWWSH MY FOOT IS BURNING LIKE SHAWTY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Me: *jumps out and turns hot water down*
Me: ahh, this'll be better
Me: *steps in shower once again*
Me: COLD COLD COLD ASDFGHJKL ITS SO COLD IS THIS FUUCKING ANTARCTICA OW OW OW OW OWWWW
Me: *turns hot water up a teeeeeeeeeeny tiiiiiiiiiiiiny bit*
Me: okay, this will work.
Me: holy crap it actually worked
Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: NEVERMIND I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOUUUUU!
Me: ok seriously, gotta get clean
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: oh right, soap.
Me: *scrubbing arms and legs*
Me: omg wtf why am i so hairy
Me: lol jk, i'm a dude of course i'm hairy!
Me: *washes hair*
Me: *washes face*
Me: *drops shampoo*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: my family probably thinks i'm dead
Me: better make sure they know I'm alive
Me: I'M SLIM SHADY YES I'M DA REAL SHADY, ALL YOU OTHAA SOMETHIN SOMETHIN ARE JUST IMATATINN
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: guess i better get out now..
Me: *turns off water and gets out*
Me: *realizes i forgot to get a towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *sprints naked to the hall closet and blindly grabs nearest bath towel*
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: shh that never happened
Me:
Me:
Me: *sits on bed in only a towel making quote about taking a shower*
lol my quote & format! should i keep making these kinds of quotes?(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 2073 points

StayForeverReckless*
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 1:13pm UTC

I t 's n o t t h a t I h a v e s o m e t h i n g t o h i d e . . .
I just don't like people touching my phone.
nmf,

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1204 points

BravoSierra
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 12:43pm UTC

Girl: *naturally curly hair*
Girl: *naturally straight hair*Girl:*naturally wavy hair*Me:*naturally annoying hair*

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1571 points

amur3074
posted a quote
July 23, 2012 1:13pm UTC

Super Mario Bros
Pick Up Lines; #6
Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 130 points

Bravosierra*
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 2:43pm UTC

My friends brother has cancer. He went to the barber shop to shave off his head before chemotherapy. Here's the story.
Sitting at the barber shop with my brother and the man across from him asks why he's shaving his head. He explains he has cancer and without hesitation the man tells the barber to shave his hair off. Without even knowing my brother he did one of the nicest things I've ever seen.
Picture ;
http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/s720x720/541621_3177908500335_1518685418_n.jpg

👍 this is good · read the comments · 899 points

mandarose
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 1:51pm UTC

Me: *reading cute quotes*
Me: D'awwee! why can't I have a cute boyfriend!?
Me: Maybe it's because I'm eating an eggroll off of my leg.
Me: and buttered noodles with my hands..
Me: I'm wearing my shirt from a science competition too..
Me: I haven't showered in a while..
Me: I'm always on Witty..
Me: and I'm talking to myself.
Me: ...
Me: Now I understand.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1014 points

MaddyWaddy
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:59am UTC

A guy died in the Colorado shooting because he blocked his girlfriend so she would survive. Now that's true love. ❤

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1020 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 5 points

ChocolatesAreFatal
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:54am UTC

I want to walk down the aisle to
Canon in D.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points

pandaloversftw
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:54am UTC

I JUST GOT LOST, EVERY RIVER THAT I TRIED TO CROSS,
[EVERY DOOR I EVER
TRIED WAS LOCKED,]

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

SmokedSalmon
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:55am UTC

You See,
that's the difference between you & me. I never gave up. you did.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

eandhheart
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:55am UTC

click to see this quote

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points

chimneythewerebear
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:55am UTC

'184759 faves and I won't
murder my pet rat, p.s. GOD IS
WATCHING YOUUU!!!!1'
Oh shut up.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

Bluesoulflame
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:56am UTC

So, how are you doing? because I'm a potato!
I bet none of you knows where this is from

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

HannahMontana99
posted a quote
July 21, 2012 10:57am UTC

on chat
Girl: Hi
Boy: Hi
Girl: did you eat?
Boy: did you eat?
Girl: are you copying me?
Boy: are you copying me?
Girl: I love you
Boy: yes I ate already

👍 this is good · read the comments · 326 points

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