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  1. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2010 10:30pm UTC
    It's called love;)102
    you’re okay, I’m okay, everyone’s going to die eventually, I just had to go earlier because I had to make sure there’s a nice home to welcome you and Natalie, and everyone into once you come to see me. DO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID JUSTIN. Do NOT leave Natalie alone. She loves you Justin, and she’s going to need you at one point. She can’t get through this by herself. Now don’t get me wrong she’s a very strong girl, and you know this, but we’ve talked Justin, she’s okay right now, but there will be a point where she lets her guard down. She’s going to break down; she can’t be strong and hold it all in forever. Please don’t let her be alone, comfort her. I know you will, I don’t know why I even told you that because you have always been there for her. I know you will always be there for her. But please don’t miss the little signs she’ll be showing. Don’t push her away either Justin. She LOVES you! She cares about you, and she’d going to WANT to be there for you. She’s going to try, do NOT push her away. As I write I realize these are going to be the last words I will ever say to you. I should probably think of something smart and inspiring and incredible haha. I don’t know yet, but Justin it’s sad, but I’m not worried, I know you will be okay. I am going to always be here for you.

  2. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2010 10:29pm UTC
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  3. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2010 10:28pm UTC
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  4. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 20, 2010 10:28pm UTC
    It's called love;)99
    Justin didn’t cry, well till he hugged Sam at the end, because then they both broke down, I shouldn’t say both, because I balled too. After they stopped hugging Sam handed Justin a letter with the same ‘don’t read until after the funeral’ post it. It wasn’t long after that, when Sam left everything behind and went up to heaven. At the funeral Justin and I sat with his mom, dad, and sister. I sat between Justin and Sam’s sister, holding both of their hands while they cried. I didn’t, no I couldn’t cry, I know that Sam is okay, he’s not suffering anymore. Everyone’s always whispering about me that I should be locking myself in my room and not talking to anyone like Justin, but I tried, I can’t do it. After the funeral we went to the dinner, and went home. Justin went straight to his room, slamming the door behind him. I followed him; I silently opened and closed his door. He was on his bed, still in his suit; face down in his pillow crying. I sat next to him on his bed and ran my hand back and forth on his back. That’s when I saw Sam’s letter untouched sitting on the nightstand. I curled up next to Justin, cuddling with him until he stopped crying, and then fell asleep. I snuck out around 6pm because I was hungry. I got two plates of dinner ready, and set one in the microwave. I went to my room to eat so if I heard Justin wake up I could go get his food and make him eat. Around 8 I got my homework out and started to catch myself up. I did Justin’s for him too, I’m scared he will get so behind he won’t be able to play sports. I think around 10 is when I fell asleep. At 2 I could hear Justin crying, so I got up and went over there. There he was crying on his bed, with the letter next to him. I went and sat next to him on the bed, and as soon as I sat down he grabbed me as tight as he could and I grabbed him back. We just sat there holding each other for awhile until he let go and started reading me the letter.

  5. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2010 10:35pm UTC
    It's called love;)98
    Justin: Dear Sam, I can’t believe I am writing a letter to say goodbye to you. I never thought this day would come. You are my best friend. You are my inspiration, my hero, and my role model. I am so very proud of you making it this far man, you have looked hell in the face and said ha I am too good for you. I respect you so much. You are like my brother man, and I love you so much. When I lose you, I am going to lose a piece of me. I’m always going to remember the first time we met, and every summer after that. You are an amazing friend; you helped me through girls, deaths, and my dad driving me crazy. How am I going to get through this without you? That question I asked myself a lot, till one day it hit me, I am not going to have to go through it without you. I know, no matter what, you will always be here with me. Sam, I love you man. It’s not going to be the same without you. You are the guy I’m going to yes, tell my kids about, you are the reason I want kids, just so I can tell them about my best friend of 10 years. So I can tell them no matter how big their drama at school is, it will never be as bad as what you went through. That no matter what they have a guardian angel always watching over them. I cannot tell you how much you have affected my life dude, and I can’t tell you how much you mean to me. The words ‘Best Friend’ are overused way too much. Nobody knows the meaning of best friend, like I do. Remember that time, we snuck out when we were 7 to go play in the park? Or the time we got in trouble because we played spill the bottle at my 11th birthday party. We’ve been through so much together I don’t know what it is going to be like to not have you here, but I can’t think about me, it’s not about me, it’s about you. You can’t suffer anymore and I’m glad you won’t be anymore. I love you man. Better play basketball up there because when I get up there with you, you better put up a decent fight! I’m just kidding.

  6. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2010 10:35pm UTC
    It's called love;)97
    I got to Sam’s house, feeling it was the day he was letting go.. I fixed my hair the way he loves it, put a little make up on, and his favorite dress. When I got to Sam’s house, his feeding tube was out, his oxygen mask was now into his nose, and they had started his medicine. Sam smiled when he saw me enter the room, everyone who was in the room with him left, crying, I sat next to his bed. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it a little, and then he picked up a letter next to his bed and handed it to me. The letter was quiet long, and it had a post it on it that said “don’t read until after the funeral.”
    Me: Sam, I love you so much. You are so strong you know that? Don’t be scared anymore okay baby? I LOVE YOU, and you ARE going to be okay. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
    Justin walks in.
    Me: I’ll leave…
    I kissed Sam on the cheek and started to walk out.
    Justin: stay. Hold his hand, and kiss him more than that.
    Me: Are you sure?
    Justin: Natalie, stay with Sam and me please.
    Me: okay…
    Justin sat on the bed next to Sam..He pulled out a letter and started to read it.

  7. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    November 2, 2010 10:34pm UTC
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  8. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 31, 2010 11:58pm UTC
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  9. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 27, 2010 11:40pm UTC
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  10. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2010 9:24pm UTC
    It's called love;)93
    I went to get ready. I had to look cute, but sexy. Comfy, but still hot.
    Sam: I’m on my way..meet me at the park please!
    Me: Kay..I’m on my way!
    I grabbed my motor scooter and rode my way to the park. When I got there Sam was waiting with his go kart. We chained my scooter down, he blind folded me, sat me in the go kart, started the engine, quickly sat next to me, put his seat belt on, grabbed my hand with his right hand, the wheel with the left, and we were off. I am not sure where we were going and how far we were going. We just kept on riding. Any further and it felt like we would run out of gas. Eventually he stopped, but I “wasn’t allowed to take my blindfold off” he got me out of the go kart. Walked me to a..house?.. up some stairs and into a room. He sat me on a bed and told me to take the blind fold off. We were in his room.. Roses and candles everywhere.
    Sam: two ways to go here. We get down to business
    Or we talk for a little..
    Me: come here..
    Sam: pick!
    Me: now.

  11. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2010 9:06pm UTC
    It's called love;)91
    I decided to text Sam to let him know I can hang out tonight. He said great, it’s going to be amazing. Then he said he loves me but he has to go. I wonder where we are going tonight..Does he remember what is supposed to happen tonight? Well I mean he is a guy.. He should remember.. right? I want to talk to Justin.. I want to tell him.. but I don’t want him to know. I walk into Justin’s room
    Me: heyyy Jayy
    Justin: hey.. whattup?
    Me: nothing much, I have a few hours to kill
    So I’m bored
    Justin: that sucks
    Me: what’s wrong?
    Justin: nothing.
    Me: okay whatever..I’m going to go get
    ready then.
    Justin: hey wait..close the door, I want to ask
    You something.
    Me: okay…what?
    Justin: His parents, and your mom trust you two alott…
    Have you two?...you know?...done it?
    Me: nopee
    Justin: oh okay good.
    Me: Justin..do you stil—
    Justin: we will talk tomorrow.
    Me: okay. Bye.
    Justin: bye, have fun tonight.
    Me: thanks, I will.

  12. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 26, 2010 8:54pm UTC
    It's called love;)90
    Sam came in shortly after Justin and I stopped talking. Justin hasn’t tried talking to me about him and I since.. Well since the summer! I don’t know why he’s back into me.. Is he back into me?! Wait.. do I care? I can’t care, I have Sam. No I don’t care. I love Sam, and I am going to give him everything he want’s before he gets too sick for anything. Before..before he..dies..
    This week went by very slowly, but before I knew it’s Saturday morning. Since my boyfried is dieing my mom will let me go anywhere and spend as much time as I want with him. Like I’m sure I can even spend the night there..but that’s not the point. Tonight, is our night.
    Me: Hey Mom..can I hang out with Sam tonight?
    MyMom: yeah where you two going?
    Me: We are just going to walk around while you know..
    He still can…
    MyMom: makes sense baby, just be careful
    Me: careful?
    MyMom: don’t get hit by a bus please.
    Me: haha okay I will try not to.

  13. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2010 9:53pm UTC
    It's called love;)90
    *tap tap tap*
    Sam: Come in!
    Justin: geeze! I thought you two were getting it
    On! What the heck are you doinggg?!
    Me: talking.
    Justin: oh..man are you going to change?
    Come down for the party?!
    Sam: yes, sorry, I totally forgot..got really distracted!
    Justin: yeah I gotchoo she’s can be very distracting
    Sam: hey im gonna go change. You two..talk.
    So Sam got some clothes and went to the bathroom to change.
    Justin came and sat by me.
    Justin: Can we talk?
    Me: about?
    Justin: us..
    Me: no.
    Justin: why not?
    Me: we can later but not now. We can talk
    After this weekend okay?
    Justin: this weekend?!
    Me: yes.
    Justin: why so long?
    Me: because I am talking to Sam about me and him
    On Saturday, okay?
    Justin: okay..so Sunday?
    Me: yes.

  14. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2010 8:48pm UTC
    It's called love;)89
    Sam: I love you. And you know I really want to.
    But what if someone comes up for us..? or what if
    They can hear? We’ve never done that.. I kinda
    Want to be alone when we you know.. I want it special.
    I love you so much, I know you want it special too..and
    The first night I come home, smelling like a hospital..
    It’s not special.
    Me: I am so embarrassed Sam. It’s not funny.
    Sam: I’m not trying to be funny! Come here!
    *he pulled me close to him, my right shoulder on his
    Chest, his arms around me holding me tightly*
    Me: you rejected me! I am so embarrassed!
    Sam: Ohmygosh Natalie!! I did not reject you!
    I love you, and you are hot! And I would bang
    You every chance I got!
    Sam: shh shh shh!!
    Me: now I cant even talk?!
    Sam: you haven’t embarrassed yourself! But
    If you talk like that you will!
    Me: ughhh! Am I ruining your party?!
    Sam: no! you are making my party the best
    Party EVER! Look, I’ll text you this weekend and
    We can meet up..okay?
    Me: okay.
    Sam: I love you so much!
    Me: I love you too!

  15. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2010 8:47pm UTC
    It's called love;)88
    I kissed him. He kissed me back. I love it. I love him. I am ready.
    One thing led to another and before I know it we were making out.
    He fell back and I fell on top of him. I really didn’t know where we
    Were going with this..until he said..
    Sam: baby..?
    Me: yes? *continuing to kiss him*
    Sam: what are we doing? I mean I know
    But like..is it getting to what I think?
    Me: do you want it to? *kissing him more*
    Sam: well..I do..but..not today..not now..
    Me:oh..? *I stopped kissing him and sat up
    In between his legs.*
    Sam: It’s not you, it’s the fact that everyone
    That loves me is downstairs..
    Me: except me..I’m right here..making a fool
    Of myself!
    Sam: No! you’re right here, with me!
    Me: making a fool of myself!

  16. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2010 8:46pm UTC
    It's called love;)87
    I don’t know why I yelled surprise..but I did.
    Sam looked confused, and happy. Scared, and
    A little mad. He didn’t say anything he just came and sat
    Next to me on his bed. I couldn’t really tell what was going through
    His mind until he said
    Sam: I really didn’t think you were here.
    Me: were you sad?
    Sam: extremely.
    Me: awh baby I’m sorry, you know I would never
    Miss something big like this!
    Sam: I know! I love you!
    Me: I love you too!
    Sam: baby I wish you could see how beautiful
    You look right now!
    Me: I just came from cheerleading! Im am definitely
    Not beautiful!
    Sam: well you are to me!
    Me: ew! I was all sweaty and gross!
    Sam: but you are still the most beautiful girl I have
    Ever seen!
    Me: I love you!

  17. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2010 8:44pm UTC
    It's called love;)86
    Sam must have taken his mothers advice because I could hear
    Another person making there way up the second set of stairs,
    Down the hallway, to the last door dead smack center of the
    End of the hall. I couldn’t decide if I wanted him to walk in and
    See me or if I should let him call me and then poof I magically
    Appear. If I wait on his bed it might seem to seductive, but if I
    Hide I might scare him. I don’t want to scare him, I sat up with
    My legs Indian styled on his bed. I waited and there it was,
    A hand on the door handle, and in came Sam.
    Me: Surprise!

  18. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2010 7:39pm UTC
    It's called love;)85
    About an hour after Sam hung up on me, Sam,
    His mom and his dad pulled into their driveway.
    I couldn’t be any more excited to see him since well
    It’s been two days since the last time I got to! I hid in
    His room, while everyone else was in the living room.
    I heard the front door open and everyone yell “Surprise!”
    And “Welcome home!” then I heard his mom say
    “Honey I’ll go put your stuff in your room, would
    You like to go change too?” I couldn’t hear Sam’s
    Response but I did hear footsteps, slowly creeping up
    The stairs and socks sliding on the carpet getting louder
    As they get closer. My heart starts to pound. I hear a
    Hand on the door handle and see the door start to open.
    I start to see a body but its Sam’s mom.
    Sam’s mom: SAMMY you stuff is your room! Please come
    Sam: I’m coming, I just have to call Nat!
    Sam’s Mom: Go in your room so you have privacy
    And can hear honey!
    As she said this she left. I don’t know why but for some reason
    The thought of Sam, changing with me in here sounded good.

  19. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2010 4:26pm UTC
    It's called love;)84
    October 24th.
    “In the middle of September we’d still play out in the rain
    Nothing to lose but everything to gain
    Reflecting now on how things could’ve been
    It was worth it in the end.”
    That’s the ringtone Sam chose for himself on my phone.
    Sam’s mom and I put together a surprise welcome home
    Party for Sam. She said he would call me before they are
    Leaving the hospital
    Me: Hello?
    Sam: Hi beautiful!
    Me: What’s going on?
    Sam: I have decided to not waste anymore
    Time living in the hospital, I’m coming home.
    Me: Oh are you? Well I am sorry but I am at a
    Cheer meeting.. Can I come over and see you after?
    Sam: what? Uhm..yeah sure that’ll be fine, I gotta
    Go I will see you later. Bye.
    I had to make it seem like I am busy, so it’ll be a big
    Surprise. I feel bad because I know I hurt him, because
    He didn’t tell me he loves me, which he always does.

  20. iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2010 4:18pm UTC
    It's called love;)83
    That summer was the best and the worst summer of my life.
    I went up North expecting to fall deeper in love with my secret
    Boyfriend Justin, but then I met Sam. Sam changed my life in
    So many ways I couldn’t even name then all. He opened my
    Eyes and showed me that life really is short and you never know
    What is going to happen next. Sam that day found out he only
    Had about 1 year maybe less to left to live,
    that this time there was no way to fix him. Justin, Sam,
    and I spent every second of the rest of the summer together,
    when we all had to go home We texted and called like crazy.
    Sam even came to the wedding as my date. Sam was not
    Only a best friend and my boy friend, he was my hero. As a
    Freshman in High school I am currently a cheerleader,
    Stepsister to the star football player, and girlfriend of the
    boy from our rival school who is very sick with cancer.


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