Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

ilovenoodles

  1. MidnightHorseRider MidnightHorseRider
    posted a quote
    July 31, 2012 1:39pm UTC
    Friend: Tom Daley is ugly.
    Me:
    Friend:
    Me:
    Friend:
    Me:
    Cops: So you're telling me that she fell out of the window?
    Me: Yep.

  2. FullOfRegrets FullOfRegrets
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 9:59pm UTC
    Mum: Who are you texting?
    Me: A child molesting serial killer
    ..

  3. that_girl_who_likes_you that_girl_who_likes_you
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 5:58pm UTC
    Dear Girls,
    Dont say all the men are the same,3 men jumped infront of their girlfriends in the shooting of cinema in Colorado,one of them men had 2 kids,all men died.
    so much respect.

  4. ThatsSoMeee ThatsSoMeee
    posted a quote
    June 5, 2012 2:47pm UTC
    He's annoying.
    He's hilarious.
    He's the world's biggest jerk.
    He makes me want to scream.
    He ruins my day and saves it in the last minute.
    He drives me crazy.
    He's out of his mind.
    I hate his guts.
    And he's everything I want.

  5. BravoSierra BravoSierra
    posted a quote
    July 30, 2012 12:46pm UTC
    Did you know?The acronymn "swag" originates in the 1960's when being gay was looked down upon as unlawful to even be together. The acronymn itself stands for "Secretly We Are Gay."


  6. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  7. DalalPiromari DalalPiromari
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2011 8:01pm UTC
    Here's to the code names
    We made up for guys we liked so that
    no one knew who the hell we were
    going on about.
    Click the ♥ if you did this with your friends.

  8. smilex0 smilex0
    posted a quote
    December 18, 2010 3:30pm UTC
    when i'm in the car
    and a sad song comes on the radio, i stare out the window and act like i'm in a movie♥

  9. andreapicii andreapicii
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2012 11:43am UTC
    Me: Wow, I'm home alone
    Me: *In the shower* I WISH I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL
    Me: *Into a hairbrush* NO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUT ME OFF
    Me: *Running around the house* TONI-I-I-I-I-IGHT WE ARE YOUNG
    Me: *Upside down, balancing herself on the couch* IM FEELIN' SEXY AND FREE
    Me: *Making microwave popcorn* BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
    Family: *Comes home*
    Me: *Locks herself in room and goes on witty
    Tumblr

  10. Wolfie224 Wolfie224
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2012 11:02pm UTC
    When you get "stretch marks"
    Just think to yourself, my body's
    not ruined! Imma gosh darn tiger
    who's earned her stipes { { { ^.^} } }

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles