Witty Profiles

daiselush

1. glitter162*
   posted a quote
   October 26, 2013 7:02pm UTC
   *grandpa voice* See, back in my day, the bathroom was used for taking a sh*t, not pictures
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 132 points
2. glitter162*
   posted a quote
   October 26, 2013 7:10pm UTC
   Phineas: I know what we're gonna do today!
   Ferb:
   Ferb: Of course you do, you triangle-headed c*nt. Maybe I wanted to decide what to do today. Did you ever think of that? No. You never think about what I want, you f*cking b*tch. We have the funds to prevent natural disaster and cure cancer, but no, you'd rather f*ck around and build rollercoasters and sh*t. Someday I will end your f*cking life, just you wait and see.
   
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3. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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4. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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5. 
   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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   posted a quote
   January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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10. 
    posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
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11. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 12, 2013 7:09pm UTC
    Dear Mom,
    I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, neither can a boy.
    Sincerely,
    help me, I'm stuck.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 155 points
12. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 12, 2013 7:13pm UTC
    When a book does not
    adequately describe a character, so you just fill in the blanks but later you actually get a description so you just want to shout, "WRONG! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND NOW YOU ARE WRONG!"
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 185 points
13. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 12, 2013 7:18pm UTC
    Okay, so last week after
    volleyball practice, I walked back into the school building to find maple syrup splattered across all of the lockers. A mysterious pair of snowshoes were leaning against the wall. My friend walked in behind me, took one look around and said, "The Canadians were here."
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 175 points
14. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 6:53pm UTC
    Person: What does the fox-
    Me: *swoops in*
    Me: *puts hand over mouth*
    Me: NO
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 120 points
15. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 6:56pm UTC
    Neil Armstrong: *travels to moon*
    Neil Armstrong: *takes 5 photos*
    Me: *went to bathroom*
    Me: *takes 37 photos*
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 107 points
16. glitter162*
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 7:04pm UTC
    Mom: What does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
    Me: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.
    Mom: Okay, I'll ask your sister
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 66 points
17. Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 2:49pm UTC
    hey! stop scrolling! i just want you to know
    --you are never as awkward as you think you are
    --you are never as annoying as you think you are
    --you are never as boring as you think you are
    --your compliments re never as creepy as you think they are
    --you are way more wanted than you give yourself credit for
    chin up, dude
    okay keep scrolling
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 153 points
18. happiest*
    posted a quote
    October 25, 2013 1:35pm UTC
    do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something
    so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 354 points
19. 鲁汉 ♡*
    posted a quote
    September 16, 2012 8:33am UTC
    beau
    Luke
    Jai
    Daniel
    James
    -the Janoskians.
    format by: h0peful.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points
20. 鲁汉 ♡*
    posted a quote
    November 15, 2012 2:09am UTC
    They don't know about the things we do
    They don't know about the I love you's »»
    (format credit to iWannaStayUpAllNight/<3)
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 36 points

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