Witty Profiles

courtneyisawesome14

1. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   December 18, 2012 7:33pm UTC
   Today i saw this really ' hot' boy at the mall
   when i was about to approach him,this girl holding lingerie takes his hand and walks away.
   THAT MOMENT EXPLAINED MY LIFE.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 13 points
2. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2012 9:56am UTC
   "BEAUTY ISN'T JUDGED BY
   THE SIZE OF YOUR JEANS"
   ~Jack Barakat
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
3. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   October 28, 2012 8:48pm UTC
   i wish there would be hurricanes more often, it seems to make my refrigerator more packed with food.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 30 points
4. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   October 20, 2012 7:05pm UTC
   Dad: Honey, I never lie.
   Me: SO SANTAS REAL?!?!
   Dad: No.
   Me: LIAR.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
5. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   October 13, 2012 12:39pm UTC
   What is it called when your crush likes you back?
   IMAGINATION
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
6. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   October 7, 2012 10:57am UTC
   Love me?
   Great.
   Hate me?
   Even better.
   Think I'm ugly?
   Don't look at me.
   Don't know me?
   Don't judge me.
   Think you know me?
   You have no idea.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
7. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   September 30, 2012 6:08pm UTC
   I will never
   love a person as much as
   I love music
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
8. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   September 29, 2012 6:32pm UTC
   Me: Knock Knock!
   Friend: Who's there?
   Me: Yah
   Friend: Yah Who?
   Me: Nah bro, i prefer google.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 159 points
9. courtneyisawesome14
   posted a quote
   September 28, 2012 3:32pm UTC
   When bu t te r f l ies fal l i n l ove
   do they feel people in their stomachs?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 9 points
10. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 25, 2012 7:25pm UTC
    calories:
    tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
11. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 25, 2012 6:41pm UTC
    My doctor told me to start killing people.
    well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce the stress in my life.
    SAME THING.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 847 points
12. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 23, 2012 11:23am UTC
    How to mute your parents:
    put earphones in your ears and listen to really loud music and nod to everything they are saying to you .
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
13. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2012 3:56pm UTC
    *Phone Rings*
    Costomer: Is this the Krusty Krab?
    Patrick: No, this is Patrick. *hangs up*
    *Phone Rings*
    Costomer: Is this the Krusty Krab?
    Patrick: NO. This is Patrick. *hangs up*
    *Phone Rings*
    Costomer:Is this the Krusty Krab?
    Patrick: NOOOOOOO, THIS IS PATRICK!!! *hangs up phone violently*
    Patrick: I AM NOT A KRUSTY KRAB.
    Spongebob: uh, Patrick thats the name of the restaurant....
    Patrick: HUH!
    Oh Patrick, why must you make the world giggle....
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
14. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2012 5:02pm UTC
    Remember,
    someone may flirt with you,
    but it doesn't necessarily mean they'like' you.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 14, 2012 3:37pm UTC
    T h a t a w k w a r d m o m e n t ,
    when your grandma sings...
    "I'm bringing sexy back."
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
16. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2012 4:24pm UTC
    That awkward moment
    when a bee flies in the classroom and you flip out because
    you're scared.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 50 points
17. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 10, 2012 8:16pm UTC
    Dear Wittians,
    Today we should all take the time and stop and think about all the people who have committed suicide. To the families who have lost a loved one who was bullied and sacrificed their life because of their embarrasment and feeling of hatred toward them. To all of you have thought about killing yourself, you should all realize that everyone loves you and cares for you. I am here. Yes ,you may feel lost or alone but trust me you aren't the only one. To all who have judged people ..you should think about what you say before you say it. That one hate comment can effect someone so much. We are all humans on Earth and should all be treated the same. I promise everything will be alright. Just keep a smile on your face , and your day will be amazing. That one smile will spread to others and will change everyones day. So just realize that the only way to prevent sucide is to smile about everything and everyone to show you stayed strong.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
18. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 9, 2012 3:23pm UTC
    *awkward silence for 5 mins*
    Me: so.... i just wanna say that if one day we are stranded on an island and i die and you have nothing to eat i give you premission to eat me because that is what best friends are for.
    Best Friend: wel l if i d ie i give you premission to eat me too
    Me: aww im so f lattered.!
    True story.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
19. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2012 5:38pm UTC
    Toddlers: ewww babies.
    Kindergarteners: ewww toddlers.
    Elementary Students: eww kindergarteners
    Middle Schoolers: eww elementary students.
    Freshmen: eww middle schoolers.
    Sophmores: eww freshmen.
    Juniors: eww sophmores
    Seniors: ewww juniors
    College Students: eww seniors.
    Adults: eww college students
    Senior citizens: eww adults
    The DEAD: EWW THE LIVING.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 39 points
20. courtneyisawesome14
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2012 12:32pm UTC
    Dear Girls
    Bruno Mars may take 1 grenade for you but
    we take hundreds.
    From The Army
    ♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 312 points

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