Witty Profiles

Goose

1. Goose
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2015 11:13am UTC
   Using the phrase "jump scare" in your English paper....
   
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2. Goose
   posted a quote
   December 30, 2014 12:33am UTC
   Everything is so much easier when you don't believe in Christianîty. Because then you can just blame God for everything:*looks up dramatically shaking fist at sky*DAMŃ IT, GOD!!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LET THE MILK GO SOUR?!?!
   
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3. Goose
   posted a quote
   December 29, 2014 1:00pm UTC
   Today I got bored and decided to...:Pull out my electric guitar, turn the gain all of the way up, and play Jingle Bells as a heavy metal song with my friend screaming the vocals. Because I'm completely sane.
   
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4. Goose
   posted a quote
   November 27, 2014 9:01am UTC
   Happy Thanksgiving all of you crazy Americans!!!
   
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5. Goose
   posted a quote
   November 8, 2014 11:14pm UTC
   Dad: Don't tell me how to drive. Mom: I'm not, I'm just expressing fear.
   
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6. Goose
   posted a quote
   November 7, 2014 10:33pm UTC
   My face has decided to be stranger than usual today so one of my eyes is currently dark brown and the other is a bright green.
   
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7. Goose
   posted a quote
   November 3, 2014 11:16am UTC
   I ate a healthy breakfast this morning!....so I rewarded myself with a cookie.
   
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8. Goose
   posted a quote
   November 3, 2014 9:53am UTC
   Smiley faces using the keyboard are so strange. People originally began using :) but let's face it, that looks like Jeff The Killer. So then, of course, we tried to fix that predicament. So we used c: but that just looks like eyes and a big-àss nose. There is no inbetween, people. Its either Jeff the Killer or a bull. And that is why we use emoji!
   
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9. Goose
   posted a quote
   October 30, 2014 5:42pm UTC
   Plane flying crickets
   
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10. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 29, 2014 2:06pm UTC
    Fun things to do when you're bored #2
    Try to stain a stainless steel refrigerator. "
    
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11. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 24, 2014 9:59pm UTC
    Fun things to do when you're bored #1
    Answer every question you are asked or that you can come up with with "Satan"
    Example:
    Me: "Hey, mom, I'm going over to a friend's house."
    Mom: "Okay, who?"
    Me: "Satan."
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 18 points
12. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 23, 2014 8:45pm UTC
    I do not lose things. I temporarily misplace them.
    
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13. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 23, 2014 5:24pm UTC
    I feel like a cracker in a sea of graham cracker crumbs
    
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14. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2014 7:54pm UTC
    Wallpaper should wear more hats.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
15. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2014 6:06pm UTC
    Holy crap my stomach just made a noise that sounded like a whining puppy. O.O
    
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16. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 20, 2014 6:49pm UTC
    Does anyone else get weirded out when guys have to wear those hair net thingys on their beards???
    
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17. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2014 11:45pm UTC
    Me: *walks into classroom*HOLY SHÍT ITS SO COLOURFUL!!!!*runs screaming out of classroom*
    
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18. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2014 10:57pm UTC
    Some fùcking random person just tried to sell me birth control pills. I mean, what? I'm not even 14 and like 5'3. Do I look like I need birth control pills?!
    
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19. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 14, 2014 1:25am UTC
    Look alive, Sunshine. 109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit! You're here with me, Dr. Death Defy. I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter, pumpin' out these automatic sounds to keep you 'live. A system failure for the masses, antimatter for the master plan. Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny. This one's for all you rock 'n rollers, all you crash queens and motor babies. Listen up! The future is bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary. It's time to do it now and do it loud. Killjoys make some noise!
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 6 points
20. Goose
    posted a quote
    October 13, 2014 5:06pm UTC
    Geez, Witty. I can hear the crickets
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 17 points

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