i hate how kisses hold no memory for me. I hate how the feeling of having another pair of lips on my own is nearly incapable of being constructed by my imagination, no matter how hard I focus, no matter how hard I try to feel it real, because it never feels as good as it does in real life. as soon as the person who kissed me is no longer present, the memory of how their lips felt colliding with mine, the taste of them, the pleasant sound of our lips parting from each other already begins to fade, and I only crave more. that's the problem with kissing, it's an addictive drug my fantasies cannot act as as a substitute for.